Merry Christmas!!!

I just wanted to take the time and send a Merry CHRISTmas hello to all my friends and family who read this! Sandy and I made it home for Christmas safely and are kinda bummed to find out that we left and it snowed at least 3 inches where we live!!! :) We had a wonderful time with our family last night.
I was just informed last Friday that not only did I sustain 1 broken rib but found out...after 2 months that I have 5 broken ribs from my accident! 4 of them are healing well and one is still healing displaced! Other than that I am doing fine and dandy!
I hope and pray you all have a blessed Christmas and a even better new year!! I am sorry for not sending out cards!!!
I love you all!
Wendy and Gizzmo :)

My Christmas tradition.....

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Where the treetops glisten,
and children listen
To hear sleigh bells in the snow
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
With every Christmas card I write
May your days be merry and bright
And may all your Christmases be white
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
With every Christmas card I write
May your days be merry and bright
And may all your Christmases be white

Everyone I am sure has a Christmas tradition or two! I have a few but one of my non Biblical tradition's is to watch Irving Berlin's "White Christmas" Starring Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Rosemary Coloony and Vera Allen. As long as I can remember I have watched that movie on TV with my gramma and grampa Culbertson. I have the movie memorized, I know all the songs and could probably do the dance numbers too! My grampa Bob was a great closet entertainer! He loved to dance and sing! He taught me to jitterbug and waltz! He also help me find my love for singing by just hearing him sing the songs he grew up listening too and also all the AWESOME old skool hymns! Most people would have thought of Grampa not liking Christmas...But he loved it for the One reason! Our Savoir! But then him and gramma had two secondary reasons to love Christmas...me and Sandy! They would take us to go and by a pretty dress we would wear for our Church Christmas programs each year and then that would also conclude dinner at Sizzler! Grampa loved that place! Grampa would get steak and Gramma, Sandy and I would get the salad bar! One year Grampa sang "Oh Holy Night" for the Church Christmas program and I got a litte teary hearing him sing that song from his heart! Thru out grampas life he had many reasons to just give up and go along the worlds way of living but he always seemed to carry that pride know ing that he was a child of God even though grampa had a hard time dealing with the fact we have eternal security! The 100% garuntee that we would never loose our salvation if we truely meant that we wanted Christ in our lives/hearts. At the time I was born grampa and gramma were not going to church and grampa said that his grandchildren will be going to Church and Im thankful for the devotion they both had for keeping us head deep in the word and consistant in Church!
I have made some small and big mistakes in my life. But I know that the best thing I ever did was secure my life! I celebrate Christmas because that was the beginning of my new life!!!
Thank you Grampa and Gramma!!!
I love you both!
Pooh bear

WINTER FISHING...

OOOOOO I can't wait for Saturday!!! I get to go Steelhead fishing! Im sure it will lets say oh REALLLLLLLLY cold, but catching my first Steelhead...PRICELESS and sooooo worth it! I love the fact that God gave us the knowledge to figure out how to fish and gather for ourselves! The fun part of it all though is fighting for your dinner :-)!!!! And then reaping in the rewards by eating it or if you are like me share the wealth!!!
I had another doctor appointment today reguarding my accident! My rib is still broken! It will be 2 months on December 20! So my doctor is going to send my X-rays to a radiologist to make sure the way that it is healing and the speed or lack of is not to be overly concerned over! I will know in a week!
Im looking forward to come home for the holidays! I know that it seems like I talk about my accident a lot and Im sorry! But that was a hard for me to deal with! I have never been in anything like it and am constantly THANKFUL that God protected me! And that life is precious and He gives and can take away and how fortunate I have the dear friends and family that helped and still are helping, close by! I am in debted to you all!
Work is ok! I worked my first 10 and a half hour shift yesterday since being back to full duty! I was doing good till hour 9 and my 5th and 6th wind was running out! One of our managers just up and quit...And so I took her opening shift and then other employees needed to be off earlier and so I said I would be the last to go home since I had to wait for my ride to get off work!
Gizzmo is getting big and is still a handful! I keep thinking...oh Lord what did I get my hands full with...Jack russel, wired hair schnouzer and mini pincer.....oh what a combo!!! Oh well I love him and he is loads of fun!
I have been killing my off time just hanging out at home watching football! I have missed the last 2 sundays watching football and going to church because of work! I hate to miss football but cant stand to miss a sunday of Church! But I am blessed to have my cousin to pray with and sit and talk about what we are doing for devotions or a verse that got to us! And it keeps me going thru the week!
My Church back in Washington started to post "THE REV'S" sermons on mp3 format on the Church website! And nothing compares to Pastor Franks sermons! Sorry Ryan! You do have an AWESOME mentor! but you are just as good! Im kinda bummed I won't be able to go to Church when I'm home!
My novel is finished for now! I LOVE YOU ALL!!!
"Jesus is the reason for the season"

I DONT WANT KIDS!!!! :)

So I was not so smart and entered into a long commitment of being the mommy of a puppy!! Don't get me wrong I LOVE my dog...or should I say chewmister...or I kill toys faster than you can buy them mom or did this one squeak...I don't remember...or just puppy!!!! I giggle at all Gizzmo's antics! Like how he gets sooo jealous over me petting my cousin's cat when he comes to visit! It's like sibling rivalry!!! The other day I went next door for no more than 15 mins and I come back down to my place and my purse is strewn all over the floor!!! Oh I was sooooo mad! Then I saw that the reeses peices butter cup was in there!(Only a single from halloween) AND it was opened and gone!!! And then that freaked me out! I do all I can to make sure he is safe keeping everything up off the floor and only let him have his toys. I am trying to teach a smart headstrong dog (it's the breeds) to Obey me and then I thought "How do parents do it" How do they continue with the mundain way of life with teaching and instructing or disaplining and correcting their children??? I am sad at the lifestyle my parents have chosen in the recent years!! I'm sad that I was angry while my dad was in the hospital and could have possibly not come out! Im greatful that when I was living at home having to depend on mom and dad that my dad and mom did all they could to make sure we had a roof over our head if was our home in Sumner or living with grama and grampa Z in the 5th wheel on their property till we found a new place to live. I am hummbled that I was a fortunate child that had a family that loved me and still does when there are a lot of children out there that are not so lucky of fortunate. I am blessed to have my grandparents to show me God! And that I was spared a life of eternal death by coming to know our Savior!!! To eventaully one day to know what His will is for me! (I still don't know)
Now I would never get rid of my baby...I do love how he depends on me to remember to feed him or to take him outside, to make sure he gets the excersise he needs! I love that feeling of being needed. I could never take for granted my parents love for me. Thank you mom and dad! I love you both and pray that you both find God's will for your lives! And that you experience God's love too!
Pooh

PS I do eventually want kids...Lord willing...I love them tooo much to not want them!!

Christmas meaning!!

I just got off the phine with my dad about an hour ago. We had a conversation about Christmas eve this year with my family and how he was thinking about buying or renting a Santa suit for all the little kids in the family. Young and old! My first picture with Santa! In that conversation he had mentioned that he was reading the Bible for the meaning of Christmas...I was sooo overwhelmed with joy but angry at the same time, only because my grampa Bob wasn't here to see this or hear him say that! He than said to make lighter side of the subject he said he hasn't gotten thru the geneology of it all yet! But I told him to write out his thoughts of the meaning of Christmas and that I would send him my version! And when I say my version he is gonna KNOW why we celebrate that BEAUTIFUL baby every year! I know my dad knows! I know that he knows he is a sinner and because that Baby was born as man He was to take the sin's of all mankind to save us from ETERNAL DEATH!!! I know my dad knows this I know he knows he is sinning and that God is out creator and our supplier when we need Him, He is our great physician, only God can heal us from all our pain, sorrow and grief! That He simply just loves us for who we are! I know my dad knows all this! Why we celebrate Christmas one day a year I will never know??? OK I kinda do, so that we don't go broke....2008 is the year to CELEBRATE!!!
Celebrate the Christ that was born to save us, let's celebrate the child that would grow to be a man of teaching and healing, the man that would go and show the LOVE of God. The God that would give up His son so that we may live forever! WOW What a year this will be!!! Each day this year I will earnastly blog one thing to celebrate for the year!! If I were to miss one I will never miss two and will catch up!!! 365 days of celebrating Christ!!!! Ce;ebrating God!!!!!

Compassion

Tis the season to be jolly, to be happy to be loved!!! It's also a time to show compassion! I was reading thru Luke and came across a particular story that brought attention to me of simple compassion that Jesus bestowed on a widower. She was in a funeral procession for her one and only son!!! And Jesus came up to her and he felt compassion for her (Luke 7:13) And He told her not to cry! She just lost her son, her ONLY son and a man comes up to her and tells her to stop crying! That would just be hard for me to do a complete stranger to tell me to stop crying! I think I would have taken offense to that! But she doesn't retract Jesus' words! All Jesus did next was just touch the coffin and told the dead man to arise! Jesus showed that woman that He had compassion for her and that He loved her!
I feel that this is one way to see how God showed His compassion for us by giving up His one true love, His son! And then I think about all those that are close to me that don't know how compassionate our BEAUTIFUL our God really is! And how much I DON'T show them compassion by not sharing Gods compassion(how to use the same word 3 times in one sentance!!!)
Why should I be any different to be able to have this knowledge and hoard it all to my self??? I don't deserve it like everyone else does! This really convicted me with my walk! Going to Church is not ENOUGH!!! It's verbaly too! This is my life long resolution...new years resolution are so 5 mins ago...(thats for you Aim) ...It's to NOT keep God all to my self! I want to be able to know that I will see my loved ones and unknown ones in Heaven...My resolution is to keep the great commandment to Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature!!! My world right now reolves in Redmond, Oregon!
Luke 7:13~And when the Lord saw her He felt COMPASSION...

Yes...I did take pictures!!!

Gizzmo's foot print!!


My Back yard looking east
My neighbor's driveway
The backyard looking south


Happy Thanksgiing!!!!
Luv Wendy

YEAH SNOW!!!!

It snowed yesterday!!! I rarely get to see snow before Turkey day and yesterday was just a blast!! On top of everything else I had the day off too!...My neighbor and I took our dogs for a walk while it snowed and if you see the pictures in my last blog my dog isn't very big and will only be a little bigger than what he is now!
Well Milo the neighbor is an American Bulldog...He's a big boy and watching Gizzmo trying to play like a big dog was sooo funny!
Im doing good I have possibly my last doctors appointment regarding my accident tomorrow!! At least thats what the doctor said at my last visit! It depends on if my rib is healing. I haven't had any problems lately but sometimes im uncomfortable in the morning. I sure hope it is healed! Then I can work full time again and possibly get a second job for a little bit!!!
I have been going to a great church, the only thing is the pastor preaches for only a half hour!! But it is filled with God's word and thats what matters most!
May you all be blessed
Wendy

PICTURES!!!

This is dedicated to my little man....He has been such a great comforter and love bug! He is the best cuddle buddy on cold nites while watching a movie! We are learning how to be obedient but as most of you know that with children they take a lot of patience!! I don't have kids but I do know what it's like to have one....kinda! Enjoy the pics!

ALCOHOL!!!!

I am BOYCOTTING any form of Alcohol in my life!! No having a glass of wine with dinner, not gonna have a cold beer with a friend, Believe it or not I'm not gonna even COOK with it! Im mad, REALLY MAD!!! I just found out yesterday that my God mother is dying with cerosis(cant spell and spell check isn't working) of the liver!!!

After having to deal with my dad in the hospital with drinking related problems and my mom on her way down the same path, I now have another special person in my life that I get to see suffer because of the choices that they made!! Im mad because I just don't understand why? Why lie that you are sober and then keep drinking anyways?? I mean I really have no room to talk after having my own problem with addiction to smoking(I have quit). My dad for instance...He was told that he should never put another alcoholic beverage into his body as he is leaving the hospital this summer and then he goes and sees his regular doctor who tells him that ONE drink a week is ok not one or two a nite. And then my mom doesn't stop drinking nor slow down the intake of how much she drinks, in front of my dad. So naturally he is gonna want to have a drink too.

I know why God alows these things to happen it just hurts and there is nothing I can do!
IM just frustrated that it's happening to the people I love so dearly and now at the rate that my mom drinks she's heading down the same road! I am a state away and I think that has helped me to deal with the things that I can't control!
Even my own husband has had problems with his drinking too. I have't been around him in 6 months to see how he is and now it's not my concern anymore. I guess everyone has that free will to live the way they want to.

Prayer really works!!!

Ok sooo Happy Belated Halloween! It was a good one for me! I had my arainment fro my accident(I got the ticket) and the Judge asked me how I plead and I got teary eyed and replied,"I guess guilty" I have never been before a judge and it frightened me a little. I didn't sleep at all the nite before and woke up sick to my stomach too. So by the time I saw the Judge I was ready to ralph!!! But thank God I didn't. I was 4th in line to speak with the dude and so he asked me if I have ever had any accidents in the last 5 years and I said "No" then he asked if I had any tickets in the last 5 years and I said "yes, 4 days before the accident." So I had to explain myself and so then he gave me 2 options! 1: pay the 225 dollar fine or 2: go to traffic Safety class.....UM....big decision here....Ill take traffic safety class!
I hope every one is well! I am feeling better but still don't have a car so it's a little frustrating. Not being able to go when I want to have to keep my puppy in a kennel when I am gone and sometimes it's all day. Yea my cousin lets him out when I am gone but I don't think other people should be caring for my animal. Oh well!
Ok short and sweet got to get ready for Church!
Wendy

One Month!!!!

Well it has been one whole month since I was crashed into, and I feel that maybe I may have another set back!! I have been in some amount of pain in the back rib cage and so I let my Doc know so he sent me to see the X-Ray dudes and after my pics were taken it was plain as day that I had 2 breaks!!!!! I was only told at the hospital that I had a break on the 5th rib in the front!!! But also I have one in the back too!! I just hope that I don't get set back anymore because I am a little discouraged Im not gonna lie, but that means I will only be limited to certain duties at work and then because I can't do a lot my hours will get cut! But here I am grumbling of the things in this world that once again I CANNOT CONTROL!!! Yes, I am trying to deal with this subject.

I almost wanted to give up and come back home and go back to Jason, which I knew would be the wrong thing to do but he knew how to comfort and hold me! But Im still here! The picture is of me 3 days after my accident!! The lighting is great cuz you cant see my black eye! Oh yeah make up works too :) My friend told me that we had to go out for dinner and hang out and that I needed some much needed change of atmosphere! So we went to sing Karaoke....ok so I haven't been to a bar in a LOOOOOOOOONG time and I know now why! I can't stand drunk people!!! We both sang a song and went home! It was Horrific! Needles to say we went back to her house ate Rocky road ice cream and watched some movies!! I like that much better than the Karaoke :) Oh I forgot to mention that it snowed last nite or this morning! I woke up and saw white all over the ground it was soooo pretty...But an hour later it was gone! Gizzmo loved it though and I have no pics to show for it but it's spupose to snow again so pics will be taken!

Ill try to write sooner than later!
Wendy

Life as I know it....

I have not been my happy self lately and I feel I need to get my thoughts out of my mind and onto "paper". Yesterday I probably cried half the day away. I was cancelled by my insurance company because I was delivering pizza's at the time of my accident and they don't cover transfering goods...so when I go to the grocery store am I not transfering goods. I feel really incomfortable all the time because of this broken rib. I now can feel(this is gross) the bones shift if I move a certain way....EEEEEEWWWWWW. I hate to go towork because all I think about on my way is that I could get tboned again pulling into work. I feel soo useless at work because I am only limited to 3 hours a shift and can only answer phones and make pizzas and fold boxes, you know lite duty can't slap out dough or get things from the walk in because they are over the weight limit I can carry I can't take the pizza's out of the oven because i cant lift my left arm very high cuz it hurts!! Yes this is what I call venting!!! I have been told by my former insurance company that the damage to the other vehical is over the amount of what was covered soo I will be probably buying a new BMW and on top of it all my two cats that I brought down here are now no where to be seen...possibly coyote food im guessing!!!!
So what have I learned??? HMMM God is still in control and I still need to praise Him for my trials. Even though it seems I can't handle it I make it thru another day. I am thankful that I was not fired from my job, I am thankful for the fact my sister is here and that her and Justin have been there for me. I am thankful that I have my cousins here to pray with me and give me encouragement. I am thankful for all my friends that have come thru and helped me with rides to work and doctor appointments! I am thankful im not in as much pain as I was a week ago. I can laugh a little before it starts to hurt :) I am most greatful that God allowed me to live!! What He wants me to learn I still don't know but one of these days I hope to figure it all out! There was a point last week that I wanted to pack everything up and come home but then I knew that I would fall back into Jason's comfort and delay the divorce process because that was one thing that I could count on with Jason was whenever I was hurt or not feeling well he was always there to hold me. Also because I need my church family. I have recieved many letters and cards and they are all soooooo encouraging to me and keeps me going knowing that I have a family back home that love me just as much as I love them! I know that thru this God is making me a stronger woman. Ok so I vented and redeemed myself...
Now for more serious stuff....I cannot belive the Seahawks got squashed yesterday and that the yankees are in the playoffs....EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW
Love ya all
wendy

Today

So Monday I went and saw the Doctor and she prescribed me to see a physical therapist and so today I went. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. You hear stories how they work you till you are in pain other places besides the pain you are origionally feeling. For my visit today I got to have a TENS Unit then an Ultra sound and then a seated chair massage!! They both found that I have deep tissue inssues so on friday they are gonna work a little deeper...UGH!
Right now I feel sooo helpless I never am the person to let other people help me out I am always the person who is willing to help others out. And I think that God allowed this to happen so that I let people help me. Its sooo hard to let go of my pride!
Now at the same time I am going thru all this my mother in law Terri is going thru another run around with the problems with her feet. She had another toe amputated due to the infection her body doesn't want to get rid of. Because of this she may have to have one of her legs taken too. She had a surgery today to take out the screws in her foot where the infection is. So please pray for her and Jason's family. They are all going thru this in their own ways but its hard on them all as this has been going on for a year and a half now. I am not sure of her Salvation but I know the rest of the family except for Joe and Becky are not saved! And this is giving me grief because I am not there to help her out! As much as the other times always discouraged me I still felt the need to be there for her!! But then again I am here and she is there and all I can control is my prayer life and just be diligent in praying for her!
Because HE Lives!!!
Wendy

Speechless Pictures

I am soooooo blessed I only sustained a broken rib, a severly bruised left arm, whiplash and cuts and bruises!!! Emotionally I am a wreck but with this past year I have learned to just give it all to God!!! I am THANKFUL that I was driving a SUV rather than the Toyota Carolla I had before I got this car because I don't think I would be here showing my heartache!!! Please keep me in your prayers for physical and emotional pain!! Love, hugs and prayers to you all~Because HE LIVES~Wendy

A Poem

This Blog is dedicated to my late Great Gramma Grace Lawson. This woman was a beautiful Christian woman whom I have still the utmost respect for!! She was married to her husband for almost 70 years before Grampa Lawson went home to be with our Lord. Gramma had a gift of writing poems and stories and as I was Riffling thru my stuff I found a poem book that Gramma Grace made for my family. So I was reading it and came across a poem she had written aboout the Desert.

"The desert"

By Grace L. Lawson

One lone tree, stark against the sky.

The rolling hills, Sentinales, seeking out it's company

Sagebrush in profusion

lift theirfaces plain.

All wait expectantly for that

first drop of rain

Enjoy this as much as I did!!!

Wendy

God has reason's for EVERYTHING!!!

So today I was on my way to make a delivery for work and I pulled out into traffic and was tboned. I must have miss judged the oncoming vehical cuz obviously I got hit. It totaled my car. They had to use the Jaws of Life to pry open my door. I was hit on the driver side. I got to take my first ride in an Ambulance but no bells and whistles though just a bumpy ride. The streets here in Redmond are not very well maintained. But after xrays and stuff I have a broken rib(my first broken bone), my left arm is all bruised up, a cut on my eyelid, bruise on my thigh, Road rash on my head (like a rug burn) and whiplash ! OH the joy!! The other driver was fine but his BMW was totalled too soooooo......I don't know what to do now but to leave it ALL to God!! He has His reasons for everything He even devoted a chapter in the bible in Ecclesiastes about there being a time for EVERYTHING!!! Just keep me in your prayers for a quick recovery!!
Love
wendy
pictures to come :0)

Majesty!!!

Majesty

Majesty, worship his majesty

Unto Jesus be all glory, honor, and praise.

Majesty, kingdom authority,

Flow from his throne unto his own, his anthem raise.

So exalt, lift up on high the name of Jesus.

Magnify, come glorify Christ Jesus, the King.

Majesty, worship his majesty,

Jesus who died, now glorified, King of all kings!!!

Our God is sooooo Majestic...

Every thursday I am going to try to focus on a Attribute of God!!! What He is.

I am really into Music if haven't already noticed and I will try to add lyrics to my favorite hymns and or Christian Music that has somthing to do with God's Attirbutes!!! Enjoy!!

Wendy

(Thank you Aim for the idea...your wordless wednesdays)

Being reminded...

I am constantly reminded how AWESOME my God is!!! Of how powerful He is and how perfect His strength is!!! I have been praying for a friend I work with and today we talked for 2 and a half hours while I was unpacking my stuff...I may add that I got a lot done today! Anyways while we were talking she was discussing how disobedient her boys are and how that every day they get a note sent home from their teachers and I don't have kids but I know from babysitting experience that kids don't like to sit and do nothing and she doesn't want to spank like she has in the past because One they are getting too big to hold down and 2 she feels terrible afterwards. So I mentioned that since they know how to write to have them sit at the dinner table and write 100 sentences for their disobedience and then take a privilege away for a period of time. She liked that so she is gonna try it out!! But then afterward is where the power of God steps in. She had been brought up going to Church and she stopped going and since she is a single mom of 3 kids(her daughter is a different story) but she keeps saying she wants one thing in her life that is stable. And she explained that she wanted to start going to Church again but she didn't want to go alone and I told her I would go with her if she wanted! So not this Sunday(she is taking her boys camping in a Teepee this weekend) we are gonna go to church together!!!

Now for the Strength part of God is just the mere fact that I just felt him carry me all day and that I just let him. He knew I was weak and I needed to just rest on him. I am reminded by a Song by Barlow Girl called "Never Alone"

I waited for you today, but you didnt show

I needed you today but where did you go

you told me to call said you'd be there

though I haven't seen you

Are you still there??

And I cried out with no reply

and I cannot feel you by my side

so I will hold tight to what I know

You are here and I am never alone

And though I cannot see You

and I cannot explain why

such a deep deep reassurance

You have placed in my life

we can't seperate

cuz You're a part of me

and though You're invisible

I will trust the useen

Monday...the day after

POOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRR Seahawks!!! They were Robbed for sure!!! Oh well the first loss Im not that sad but lets hoe its not a snowball effect!!! I made it back to Oregon yesterday and it rained all the way here!!! YUCK!!! On top of that, I was awarded from Washington a "good driving certificate" YEAH I got a ticket...I was just cruzing along I-5 going 70 mph as I know it is at that particular spot and I guess I didn't see the sign that said it was 60 mph. because it was a construction zone but it wasn't the regular construction days and so my ticket was not doubled!!! How Im gonna come up with 113 dollars it's all in God's hands!! So my cats did pretty good they slept all the way here and Tigger meowed a little when my ears started to pop and so Im thinking that his were too. I started to unpack things and had to stop just because it was hard to go thru certian things. Especially the pictures!!! We looked sooo happy. I am having a hard time but I know I will get thru it all!!! I just have to remember that God has my life in total control!!! And that He knows what is best for me!!! Im tired
Love and hugs
wendy

Washington, Washington, Washington...

What do I say at this point??? I realize how much stress I don't have back in Oregon! Don't get me wrong but I really don't miss it here. I have one more day of my garage sale in which I only made 2 whole dollars today...and then to Church and off I go with 2 cats and a dog intow!!! Which I don't recomend to even my worst enemy...if I had one. I just realized that I left A LOT of stress behind and I felt it while I was staying at my parents house this past week. My mom got drunk EVERY nite and my dad was still drinking, maybe not as much but enough for me to want to get mad at him which I did but didn't voice my opinion because I knew it would be in one ear and out the other. I know that in the back of his mind he doesn't care and that hurts but then again it's not my jpb to worry over things I cannot control. I had spent monday-wednesday going thru my storage unit with Jason and that was hard. He didn't make life easy cuz he was asking why I was taking so much stuff and I told him that I can use it and a lot of it was mine from childhood or family members plus he doesn't have a place to put it because he lives with his parents and if you have ever been to his parents you would know why...also because I didn't have all the time in the world I told him there are still a few things I know I have that he is gonna want and that when I get back to Oregon I would go thru everything more theroughly and then he was better.

Gizzmo has been such a good puppy that I am shocked that I was lucky to have a good dog!! He got to romp around with my parents dog "munchie" her real name is CE CE which my dad quickly changed after he got her from my gramma and grampa C. If I were to ever have a Pomeranian I would want an exact replica of Munchie...she is an awesome dog and a great cuddler too. But Gizzmo really was relentless to her all he wanted to do is drag her by her tail which was soooo cute because she let him!

So anyways I promised some pics the top one is of my cousin Ryan's daughter Kadence and Gizzmo and the one below is of me and Kadence and her brother A.J. We all got together for my Auntie Kims B-day on September 11 soooo much fun all 3 of my cousins were there and Ryans wife mad some oh my goodness YUMMY Chicken Enchiladas!!!! YEAH THEY WERE AWESOME!!!

That was the highlite of the time here pretty sad huh??? Wait I take that back I was also able to go out to lunch with Amy and Rylie(godmadeplaydough.blogspot.com) and I went to AWANA that nite to see all my close friends!!! That was awesome too but im tired don't forget I have a garage sale tomorrow soooooo you all know who you are!!!

LOVE HUGS AND TONS OF PRAYERS TO YOU ALL!!!!

wEnDy

I Can't sleep....

Ok so its 12:34 am and I have to wake up in 5 hours...to drive for 6 hours!!!! Yeah, woooohooo yippeeeeee. My first road trip with Gizzmo, should be interesting!!!! S0 I am here to bable a little. I had to work today and my friend Fawn found me a "love" seat for my new place and so after work I literally shoved it in my truck and oooooppppssss it was hard to take out, maybe I should have taken the offer of Fawn's to have her dad bring it over in his truck. But my friend Jessica and I pulled it out and now it looks sooooo cute in in my house :)
Yes one day I will post some pictures....ok so now it's 2 mins till 1am and I must have A.D.D. or something. cuz it really took me 24 mins to type the previous segment. I must be having a blond day. Have I mentioned in my previous blogs that I really not wanting to go home??? i guess I have to endure 1 week thats it. I talked to my dad yesterday and he went to his Dr's appointment on thursday and his DR. was impressed by my dads progress and told him he could have a beer or a glass of wine but no hard alcohol. Which kinda upsets me but then again it's my dad's life not mine. I haven't talked to my mom since my dad was in the hospital. To make a long story short in which maybe later I will give out the whole story, but Sandy and I were trying to make plans to meet up with my mom and dad on our way from my aunt and uncles house and my mom hung up on my sister over a remark that my mom needs to quit drinking as well to be able to help my dad. So then we (sandy and I ) decided that it wasn't imprtant for us to see her or dad because she had everything in control that she was gonna continue to drink and "hide" it from dad...Sorry but she cant hide being drunk and so we said good bye to gramma and left...I felt bad because then my dad called when were almost in Oregon and he sounded sad and I felt sad because it wasn't his fault. When we called my mom her excuse was that she hadn't had her pot of coffee yet and that noon was a better time to meet up. We didn't want to be home late because we had already missed a week of work and we had to work the next day. So besides going thru my stuff with Jason, I also have to deal with my mom because when she comes home from work she hits the bottle. OH WELL!!!! I know that god will help me thru it all and I just have to trust that what I am is the right thing and that it's in God's will!!!
Love all you lots
Wendy

Psalms 119:105

"Thy Word is a lamp unto my Feet

and a light unto my path"

This is my favorite verse in the Bible. I have been down in the dumps the last few days and every time I want to think of a verse for encouragement I dwell on this verse. Its amazing how god doesn't speak to us out loud but He ALWAYS gives us verses. The fact that He hears our thoughts just makes me break down sometimes. He makes me just sit bck and let Him take control of the things I can't control. This verse says it all that He is MY LIGHT and that I know that as long as I keep Him first in my life that this light He gives me will ever go out but once I loose focus I can't see, the light is off.

Wendy

Random thoughts....

I was awaken to a wet tongue with a slight scent of puppy(hotdog) breath this morning....at 7am!!!!! UGHHHHH oh well somebody needed to go potty. It felt great to be wanted. I have been the last few days been really thinking about my trip home for the week. I have to go thru my storage unit with my soon to be ex-husband and it's taring me to pieces. I know that over all it is the ight thing to do to be divorced from Jason but its hard to fathom. And I know I seem to repeat myself at times but just to write(type) out my feelings and thoughts helps. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be married again or if I will be able to trust another man again or will I compare the other to Jason. Today is just ne of those days and I really don't want to go home on Sunday for these reasons...9 years of memories all in a storage unit getting ready to be someone elses memories(garage sale)
I am going to walmart today to develope some pictures(yes i still use film) ones I hope i can post on my site so you all can see!!! my friend Fawn has a digital camera and she said I could borrow it too soooo one day!!!!
When I get back from Washington I am gonna have a co-worker Matt help me with weight training. He use to live down the LBC(long beach, CA) and was a personal trainer for lots of people. He's gonna show mw how to get rid and tone my flab that I have since I have lost weight. I am 2 1/2 sizes down in pant size since last november and because I don't have a scale yet I am not sure how much I have actually lost. I will know when I see my Gramma Dollie.
But Matt and his family are really sweet people. Matt and I work together at Dominos. I am suppose to be managing closing shifts by the end of the summer but I have been delivering pizzas more so I can save my money for my trip to Washington. Ok so i need to go for now but I will write more when I get home tonite from work...
TTFN(tigger lingo: ta ta for now)
wendy

My New LOVE....

So since I moved into my cousins apartment on their property I also decided that I need a puppy. So in due time I will be posting baby pics of him. His name is Gizzmo. He has been the bestest friend and companion in the last week. Last nite I was sitting on the floor and besides my chair I have a trash can and in it was a big black beetle so I picked it up and put it on the rug and let Gizzmo play!!! I did get some pics and will post them eventually. We are still trying to potty train and its so far going good couple of accidents but that comes with the territory of having a new baby....I know he doesn't like to be scolded or disaplined but who does. It seems like he gets his feelings hurt and so he puts his head down and looks cute and then I have to hold him. He will probably expect that when he is older too. I may have created a monster :) Forgive my spelling errors but he is part schnouzer, jack russel and mini doberman pincer. And just his personality alone shows all 3 breeds.
wendy

Christ likeness part 2...

So as a kid and going thru school I was always told if you don't understand what the teacher is talking about don't be afraid to ask questions. God doesn't expect us to understand everything all at once thats why He tells us to grow in the word. And our responsibility as a listener is to keep pursuing, asking questions until we understand. Matthew 13:20~And when the seed feell on the rocky place this is the man who hears the word and recieves it with joy but yet has no firm root in himself and when trouble or problems arise he/she falls away...(paraphrased)
And so my next point is that when you are not on a solid ground it just crumbles apart like the man who built his house on the sand. Sand is not a good support system by itsself maybe by adding other materials to make it solid but not by itself. And thats when books and Pastors and friends come in. Those that have had more time growing can help us understand more,they can bring it down to laymans terms.
We also need to keep showing up being involved in our Church doing things that matter to God. Whatever we do don't quit, stick to it and look to our problems as blessings rather than a hinderence...James 1:2-4 says:"consider it all JOY when we encounter various trials and know that these trials tests our faith and produces endurance and let endurance have its perfect result...So that we can be perfect, complete and lack nothing"
I don't know about you but I want to be perfect as perfect as I can be in this world,which brings me to point 4. All the trials in our lives can bring us out of focus and thats the seed that fell among the thorns. We get sooo caught up in the mundane things in life that we start to let the worries of life choke our spiritual life to death. We are told to Seek first his kingdom which is I feel priority to God.
Its amazing how God reveals Himself at different roads in our lives or on a journey that we embark on but don't know where its gonna go. And this is where I am at now in my life...Im on a journey in another state away from my family and Church and I could just hear the word on Sunday and the rest of the week be a different person but its the knowing that whenever I am right with God and that I am obedient He blesses me.
Love
Wendy

BECOMING MORE LIKE CHRIST!!!!

I have been reading the book of Matthew for my daily devotions and came across Matthew 13. In this particular chapter in Matthew Jesus is speaking in a parable. For those who don't know what a parable is, it is a heavenly story with an earthly meaning. So in this parable(shorten condenced version) Jesus was sitting by the sea and a crowd came upon Him and He started to talk to the crowd about the parable of the sower which talks about seeds falling into different types of soil or in different places, so He explains the different reasons why the seeds will grow the way they do and then He compares and contrasts about how we grow or choke in our daily walk being a child of God. Verse 19 says: When anyone hears the word of the Kingdom, and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what has been sown in his heart. This is the one seed whom was sown right by the road.
This is the point Christ is telling us to listen to be repititious. James 1:19 we are told be quick to hear and take our time trying to mad. And basicly to be silent and slow down. Especially in this day and age we try to cram everything in one day and sometimes we need to take a break of the things that don't matter in Gods eyes but mean a lot to us. I believe that Jesus is telling us that do what you need to do to get by but also not to loose focus on Gods word because I know first hand anytime you decide to take a break from God life just falls apart and some of us will stay away. But when you don't think He is there or not listening thats when we need to reevaluate what things in my life are pleasing and just to our creator. Like be head deep in the Bible to gain more knowledge to fend off satan and his lackies, and to be able to fight our own spiritual war...

TO BE CONTINUED...

(will write more later time to go to bed)

wendy

NEW BEGINNINGS!!!!!

Ok so now I am moved to my new place out in Powell Butte, OR and its really weird being on my own!! OK so I live like 50 feet from the main house that my cousin and her family live in but, I can come and go as I please and if I want to go and bug them I can do that too :-)
I will be home on the 9th of september and will be going thru my storage unit and get rid of the contents of the storage at a garage sale....and then I will be uhaualing me, Tigger, Yoda, Gizzmo(my new puppy) and all my junk back down here to start my new life!!!! I will try to see as many people as I can while I am home. I have started the divorce process which has been hard it took me a couple weeks to actually sign the paperwork but I did and I feel better but still sad at times!!! I am noticing now that there are songs on the radio that I have to change when it first comes on. I will write more later but leave me notes or somthing!!!
love all you
Wendy

10 more mins....

So today was my 9 year anniversary. But it wasn't celebrated due to my hubby and I deciding a month ago that it would be better that we divorce. It's a hard pill to swallow and with my dad in the hospital it was even worse. All I could think about was the vows I made to love and to cherish to forsake all others thru sickness and health to we are parted by death. Vows I took to heart where as my husband probably really didn't mean much. I neer really thought in a million years that I would be divorced and that I would be single and that I would be fending for my self and not being a wife and doing all the fun wifey things. I never thought that would happen. Thats the one thing I was not thinking about when I made those promises. I was thinking about our future, children our careers and when I could get out of my wedding dress. But now that it is all over I feel defeated sometimes that I had tried so hard to win a battle that could never be won. Now that I am truely in LOVE with my savior I can go on, yeah sure I am gonna be sad, it wasn't all that bad it just got worse over the last few years. I know God is with me to the end no matter if I remarry or not I just know that I have Him as my "husband" and that HE will provide!!!!
BECAUSE HE LIVES!!!!
Wendy

Where to begin....

I am home for a short time due to the fact my dad was taken to the hospital yesterday. So Sandy(my sister) and I packed up and left this morning to be with my dad. My Dad and Mom as you all know are alcoholics and the result of being a HEAVY drinker wins you a trip to the ER and then a pass strait to ICU!!! Come to find out my Dad's Liver is shuting down and that he has some Scerosis too. He is heavily sedated at this time and so he doesn't really know whats going on but he was and still is being restrained because of his actions last nite. He had pulled out one of his IV's and was causing a comotion I guess. His blood count is low and so they had to gove him 2 transfusions and thus far it has been working. They will be going into his esophagus tomorrow to see if there is any internal bleeding which this is a risky procedure if he has any tares in his esophogus which is also associated with alcoholism. If you read this and you are a christian pleas pray for my dad, his name is George.
When I had heard that my daddy was in the hospital I felt soo hopeless not being able to just run down to the hospital and be there for him. And then I got and still am angry!! Angry over the fact that this could have been prevented if he would or had only quit drinking like it was going out of style. In one half year I have had so much happen in my life that I wish none of it on anyone even my worse enemy if I have any...But then I just stopped and thought that my anger is not what God wants me to be, but how do you turn your anger to something good??? Well u thank God is what you do for giving you the trials he places in your life and here I am reverting to my previous posts about praising God in the biggest storms in our lives!! I have been away from home for over a month now and I have neve felt so good and happy and at peace with my decision. Jason and I are going to end our marriage which is for the best, in fact as I write this I should be celebrating my 9th wedding annivesary(7/11) but Im not and don't know how to handle the loss. Its almost like loosing a loved one I mean I did but somtimes I always thought we would be together for ever living life in the crazey lane, but it only took me a week to realize that Jason was not going to change his ways to make our marrige work and it can't work with just one person. And now that I lost one person this year I feel like I am loosing my dad as well! I still have a lot to learn about life and how it works and what true happiness is. I know that my one true happiness is God and that I can dwell on till the day I die. But then there are these trials that just seem to pop up all of a sudden and then you sometimes don't do anything or you do something and it helps for the moment but sometimes we let it go on and fester until we break. I have been at that point and I don't want to be there again!
Other than that I have been doing really good I think I have finally found a church in Oregon which was a very important thing for me to do!!! But it will never replace my home church Valley Bible!!! I have recieved so many cards and letters that it makes me homesick!! Thanks, I know what u are all trying to do.... :} But I have made a decision to stay longer and move in with my cousin in their apartment on their property in the fall. I am working at Domino's with my sister and am already runnig shifts! I like it. I have been doing a lot of exploring with a friend up to the mountains and all over the area finding cheap things to do when a person is broke!! It's kinda fun! I will try to write more while I am home! I love you all!!!!!!!
Wendy

UPDATE!!!!

Hello I am all good and happy!!! I have started to work at Domino's with my sister and her boyfriend! It didn't take long for me to start work I arrived on Memorial day(monday) and started to work on Wednesday! On that same wednesday a lady decided to kill her ex-boyfriend and escape to Redmond Oregon from portland Oregon then the next day we experienced a brush fire in the town I actually live in which was contained by Saturday!!! Other than that I have been doing good I do miss every one though and my cats! but I will get thru!!!! God is an AWESOME God and I have definetly seen His creations while being here! On my way here I had to stop to let a porcupine cross the road(I wasn't gonna ruin my tires) and he or she just took their time to cross! then not even 5 mins later a wild turkey jumped out of a tree and landed in a ditch! But let me tell you I have seen officiallly hmmmm 1 jack rabbit, a family of quail and babies, a group of coyotes, lots of horses and cows, a rat snake, and a bunch of deer!!! oh yeah and a lot of lizards! it is really a different wildlife here!!
will write again soon LOVE ALL YOU!!
Wendy

On my way...Almost :)

Ok so I am still here only because I have not yet gone to sleep! I can't wait because in less than 24 hours I will be seeing my baby sister!!! I am not leaving forever just for a short time! I need it more than ever. Although I realize that everything I am getting away from is still gonna be here, I feel better knowing that I will be a stronger God

Stormy Weather

The one thing that I have learned just recently from my beloved Pastor during my week of crying and wondering when all this pain I was feeling would all go away and end, is that I wasn't praising God during the roughest, rockiest time in my life, I wasn't "praising HIM in the Storm"
Oh sure I was Praising Him for all the good in my life, I was thanking Him for my Church, my family, my health and everything in between. I was asking for direction and help with my situations, how to approach the fact that I have to witness to my unsaved family members. But yet I still didn't think to PRAISE God for my problems. The problems He allows for us to deal with and yet he tells us that He would never give us more than we can handle. We seem to always focus on all the good things in our lives and then when life hands us a low blow we forget that the same God who gave us all those good things also brings us back down to earth to prove that we are still human.
The whole book of Job talks about how Job was a great, obedient man of God and when Job was at his lowest of lows having lost his whole family except his wife, having to deal with a lot of problems he still stayed true to HIS God our Heavenly Father. God protected him when his friends turned from him even when his wife ridiculed him. He stayed true to or AWESOME GOD!!! His life was destroyed but yet a man so powerless still praised God! The God who gives and takes away and yet in the end God gave Job a new family. God blessed him for being obedient!
We were created to whorship God, we are here for His pleasure! At times it feels He isn't there and that's when we seem to loose sight of what He commands of us, to be obedient to Him. And that's when He sometimes makes our lives a little bit harder, when nothing goes right and then we break into 2! Then that's when we need to refocus our priorities and start praising and thanking God for everything even our Storms!!
Praise You in the Storm
by Casting Crowns

I was sure by now that you would have reached

down and wiped our tears away.

Stepped in and saved the day.

But once again, I say "AMEN"and

it's still raining!

As the thunder rolls I barely hear your whisper

through the rain "I'M WITH YOU!"

And your mercy falls, I raise my hands and praise the

God who gives and takes away!

I'll praise you in the storm and I will lift my hands!

For You are who You are

No matter where I am

Every tear I cried you hold in your hands!

You never left my side and though my heart is torn...

I WILL PRAISE YOU IN THE STORM

I remember when I stumbled in the wind

You heard my cry

You raised me up again my strength is almost gone

How can I carry on if I can't find you

I lift my eyes unto the hills

where does my help come from

My help comes from the Lord

The Maker of Heaven and Earth

Love

Wendy

It's been a while and then some....

So some of you know that I am going out of town for the summer and maybe longer...It's all in God's hands now!!! This past year has been a hard year for me and I ended up spending almost a week in bed because of depression. A feeling I NEVER WANT TO FEEL EVER AGAIN!!!! Some of it is because of my seperation with my husband, a little because of Jason's mom being really sick again, some of it has to do with my parents' lifestyle and then the kicker was when my job told me that I had to look for work this summer because there was none there. I didn't get fired I was told to come back in September when school started up again!!!
I will tell you this now I have never been away for longer than a week or two from what I call home and I am a little scared but also feeling better knowing that I am going to get away to think clearly about all my situations and also become the Godly woman God wants me to be. To all my friends and family that read this I love all you a lot and thank God daily you are all in my life and I will try not be a stranger here in my blog...I am going to be staying with Sandy(my sister) and I think she is going to get a computer sooooooo bare with me :) I will try to fill you all in with what is going on in my life and Sandy's as well and try to get pictures up as well!!!
God bless you all I LOVE YOU!!
Wendy

News...

What is this world coming too????? I just got done watching our local news broadcast and heard that a FATHER beat his 4 MONTH OLD and the baby has 6 broken bones!!! People if you can't handle children don't have them or if you do decide to have them give them to somebody who wants to love and care for the child. I don't have kids but I could not even consider beating an innocent baby that depends on the every effort of it's parents to care for them, to feed, dress, love and protect them!! Children are a precious gift from God!!! Why do people have to harm God's gift?? I feel so bad for the mom who had to encounter her baby son injured because of the irresposible man she had this child with. I feel soo broken for her even though I have never experienced the love of a child like a parent does. I have a neice and a nephew and 2 young cousins and many friends' children that I am an auntie to and to think that someone would hurt one of them I would just die inside. Love your children young and old!!! And never ever stop loving them reguardless of what they do with their lives you don't have to love their choices but LOVE them. Keep them in your thoughts as they are not always going to be at home wrecking havoc to your home but always pray for them, pray for their salvation, pray for their future, their jobs, spouse and one day their own children. What a cycle of life God gives us to live. Its all His perfect design for us. Disapline your children so that they know what they did was wrong and that tey will respect you for your decision.
My prayers go out to the mom and to any other family members that are affected by this travisty. And to any one who has had any type of abuse affect them as well. May God be with that baby and family and may the father come to his senses and repent and find his creator!!!
Wendy

Sorry....

It's been a while since I have written so I will fill in what has been goin on...First of all I was out of a computer because of gliches the server I am on getting ironed out. Second, Jason's Mom got really sick and we almost thought she wasn't gonna make it at one point. She ened up having a serious infection again in her toe. So now she is home and doing better but laid up in bed and behaving her self due to her having to have antibiotics in her system most of the time. But now that I am back on line till the server needs to get worked on(more often than not) I will try to send out little tid bits here and there!!!
Back in March my Gramma fell and SHATTERED her shoulder, in which ended up in surgery a week later. Well this morning she had a Drs. appointment and the doc was so pleased with the progress of her healing that now she doesn't need to see him till August!!! God is sure AWESOME!!!! She is doing so well with the new diagnosis of her being diabetic that sometimes I think she is on top her diabetes more than I am on me!! She is definetly learning!!!
HMMMM well I have things to do for now sorry so short but thats whats new for now and I will be back tonite.....I PROMISE!!!!
Wendy

This and That

So this has been another trying week in the life of Wendy. Sunday I get a call from my husband about his mom. He came home and she was having a bad case of dementia and was still sick from the week before(she had been running a consistant feever for a few days). He was afraid that she was not gonna make it over nite. Well she went to the hospital and found out that she has a staff infection and needed surgery to take a partial part of one of her toes off and shot the bone with antibiotics and make sure she is all good before she goes back home. That is the short story. The long story just ask me I'll tell you!!
So I am sorry for not Blogging in about 9 days!!
I will write more tomorrow!!!
Wendy

Vodka or like Jason would say..."ODKA"

So today I decide to stay home and cook a meal and just be a homebody. That changed when I called my dad to gloat that I WAS A DARN GOOD COOK!!! :) Well then he asked me if I was doing anything tonite and I just told him that I was just hanging out at home tonite nothing special, and then he said that I still needed to get my Easter present from them so I decided well I can just run up to Ma and Pa's for a second, So I did. I first met dad at mom's work and bugged mom for a bit. But when I got there dad wasn't there and mom said he went to the house and then to the store. Then a regular customer of my moms walks in to buy a pack of smokes and asked what kind George(my dad) smoked and then she said why and he said cuz he didn't have any...So dad went to the store and then to the bar!!! I get so MAD every time I see my parents. They are never sober. Except when my mom is working is the only time she is sober and that is the only time I go and see her most of the time. My dad has had so many drinks in his life that now his liver is shot and because he thinks there is no way back he just keeps drinking and drinking and drinking!! Don't get me wrong but I love my parents a lot and I just hurt when I see that they would rather drink then pay a bill or be on time to a family funtion or not spend time with family members that need them. My mom and dad never come down to gramma at all only to pick up their mail because it gets sent here. But when we were leaving to go get my Easter gift dad said can I buy you an Iced tea and I said that I didn't want to be out late and that I don't like to go into bars. AHHHHHH I am venting and I am sorry, but gee wiz it is now getting to the point that I don't even want to give my dad a hug or a kiss hello or goodbye because his body reeks of alcohal. It is sooo bad I feel nauziated. Now my dad these days I can't tell when he is 2 sheets to the wind, but my mom on the other hand, well thats a whole new blog in it self. She is the definition of Jekyl and Hyde. There has been so many times that I have left their house mad and telling her that I am not coming back, But there is no point because she does not remember at all! Anyways its getting late and I start to turn in to a pumpkin these days so.....HMMMM word of advice.....It will have to come later I suppose!!!
Love
Wendy

PS just a reminder this was all ranting and getting things off my mind, but please keep my parents in your prayers for their salvation, they have heard it and they know!!!
W

Thinking to myself...

So today was a great day!!! Nothing special just great. I woke up early to my cat, Tigger wanting to go out side at 6am. He is a persistant animal. I have never in my life had a cat that needed their human as Tigger does!! Jason and I got him in 1999 and he has been the best purchase I think thus far!! Sometimes I wonder if he knows what I am thinking at times. After going thru this seperation from my husband I spent a lot, I mean A LOT time crying and who was there to sit in my lap and purr to calm me down or show that some one still loved me...Tigger!!! So at 6am this morning I was obviously sleeping(which is something I haven't been doing very well these days) and I hear him WHINE!!!! The only thing that upsets me is that he woke me up before my alarm....UGH! That is one of my pet peeves. But God put something in my cats litte brain to wake me up. I maybe fell back to sleep for about an hour and just laid in bed for a bit and did a lot of praying!!! God wanted me to have a conversation with him and then I read my favorite verse...Ok one of my favorite verses:
Thy WORD is a LAMP unto MY FEET and a LIGHT unto
MY path...Psalm 119:105
Even though I didn't need to read it because I have that memorzized, I sat there in bed and just prayed to my Heavenly Father to be my guide all day and to focus on what is pleasing to him for my day and that just made me have a GREAT ROCKIN', SPECTACULAR...I could go on...DAY!!!
After that I couldn't go back to sleep and by then it was 8am and still not time for my alarm to go off so I flipped on the T.V. and on it was "Saved by the Bell" Yes I am a dork I love that show to this day. Anyways heres to another BEAUTIFUL day tomorrow!!!
Love to all
Wendy

Am I a Christian???

The one question I posed to myself after listening to Pastor Franks sermons in the recent month...Am I saved??? To answer that yes I am now!! But was I when I said I was??? Hmmmmm No, I don't think so. The reason I feel this way is because I had no life change it was all for the expectations of my family and peers at Church. It was always assumptions to me. But now after realizing that I had no life change I understand where all my turmoil in the recent years has been. God was trying to break me and bring me to him. We don't seek God...HE SEEKS US!!!! I am soo happy that I have come to this realization that I have been a sinner all this time up until 3 years ago. It's amazing the things that I have learned the scriptures I have grasped and the love I feel for the Lord.
Have a blessed day
W

Ode to my Sister(s)

This is to my baby sister(who is not really a baby anymore), best friend and everything else that is nice. Growing up we rarely said "I love you" to each other and as most siblings do they tend to not get along in their younger years. Which we did and didn't. We fought and sometimes had punching matches to see who's turn it was to do the dishes, it just was the way we did it. But now after all these years I look back and would never change this part of my life for the world, because it brought out who we truely were to each other then and more now than ever. Today we are the best of friends. We talk more than ever and we now say "I love you" OK I say " I love you" and she says "Uh huh". That is her way of expressing love. Sandy is my blood sister, and I would do anything for her...even Skydive...Yes I will be jumping out of a plane on July 29, 2007 with her and my 3 cousins and aunt and uncle. You only live once, but I never could say no to her to this day I still can't. She is a beautiful, smart hard working person I know who lives only an hour and ten mins away by a scary plane ride. When you are in her company she spoils you to pieces. I went and stayed with her for a week in January for her b-day and this was a very much needed vacation due to my stress level of my husband leaving. Oh did I need the retreat. We spent a lot of time talking and hanging out...Thats what a best friend is...my sis.

Now to my other Sisters...What a ministry you have been to me!!! I love you all!! After not being around for a period of time you still loved me as if I was never missing!!! I Praise and THANK God for you and those that I have made new friends with you are just as important too. Each of you have your own gifts and abilities and it is so encouraging to have some one to look to when you need a hug or someone to just get your thoughts out to. THANK YOU SOOO MUCH!!!! So here you are Amy and Becky I wrote something...Tired but I accomplished!!! I love you two and thank you so much for your love and support and the words of wisdom that God has given you!!

W

Good Friday

Via Dolorosa



Down the Via Dolorosa in Jerusalem that day. the soldiers tried to clear the narrow streets. But the crowd pressed into see the man condemned to die on Calvary!!!!

He was bleeding from the beatings there were stripes on his back and He wore a crown of thorns on His head. And He bore with every step the scorn of those who cried out for His death.

Down the Via Dolorosa called the way of suffering, like a man came the Messiah Christ the King. But He chose to walk that road out of His LOVE for YOU and ME!!!!

Down the Via Dolorosa all the way to Calvary

Por la Via Dolorosa triste dia en Jerusalem, los saldado le abrian paso a Jesus!

Mas la gente se acercaba para ver al que llevaba aquella cruz.

Por la Via Dolorosa que es la via del delor como ovejavino Cristo rey Senor

Yfue el Quien quiso ir por su AMOR por TI y por MI!!!

Por la Via Dolorosa al calvario y a morir.

The blood that would cleanse the souls of all men made His way to the heart of Jerusalem!!!



Today was(yesterday actually) was the day that is celebrated the crusifixion of my Lord!!! The words above are from a song called Via Dolorosa, sung by Sandy Patti. It is a song that I hold dear to my heart because of the realness that it is. Jesus died for me and you and the rest of the world and he did that so that we can live for ever. Read over the words again and let it sink in what this selfless man did for selfish mankind. May the words have a special meaning as it does to me!!!

For God so LOVED the WORLD that He gave His ONLY begotten son that whoever BELIEVES in Him shall not perish but have EVERLASTING LIFE!!!

John 3:16




Because HE lives!!!
W

My thoughts for the day is that I am excited to announce that I am getting a new vehical!! YEAH!!! Ok so its new to me but I am buying all by my self and now Jason can have a car for himself. Ok so back in January my husband decided that he didn't want to see me depressed and upset so he walked away from our marriage. But yes I was upset and deressed even more after he left. Its worse than loosing a loved one to death. As much as we were polar opposites I still loved him emencly and tho we were not eye to eye with our beliefs I loved him even more. I still do, call me a hopeless romantic but you can't just move on with life just like that. So now Jason and I are talking and hanging out being friends and its nice we work out our thoughts and cry and hang out. Yeah I miss him not being next to me at nite but God has his reason's and right now I am willing to wait. Jason wants to move to New York in September and I don't know what to think, but if it to further his career in comedy and if thats what he wants Im not the person to stand in the way. I am just letting God work in Jason's life and giving all of this to God. Happy Spring!!! Happy Easter!!!!
W