Friday, April 20, 2007

This and That

So this has been another trying week in the life of Wendy. Sunday I get a call from my husband about his mom. He came home and she was having a bad case of dementia and was still sick from the week before(she had been running a consistant feever for a few days). He was afraid that she was not gonna make it over nite. Well she went to the hospital and found out that she has a staff infection and needed surgery to take a partial part of one of her toes off and shot the bone with antibiotics and make sure she is all good before she goes back home. That is the short story. The long story just ask me I'll tell you!!
So I am sorry for not Blogging in about 9 days!!
I will write more tomorrow!!!
Wendy

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Vodka or like Jason would say..."ODKA"

So today I decide to stay home and cook a meal and just be a homebody. That changed when I called my dad to gloat that I WAS A DARN GOOD COOK!!! :) Well then he asked me if I was doing anything tonite and I just told him that I was just hanging out at home tonite nothing special, and then he said that I still needed to get my Easter present from them so I decided well I can just run up to Ma and Pa's for a second, So I did. I first met dad at mom's work and bugged mom for a bit. But when I got there dad wasn't there and mom said he went to the house and then to the store. Then a regular customer of my moms walks in to buy a pack of smokes and asked what kind George(my dad) smoked and then she said why and he said cuz he didn't have any...So dad went to the store and then to the bar!!! I get so MAD every time I see my parents. They are never sober. Except when my mom is working is the only time she is sober and that is the only time I go and see her most of the time. My dad has had so many drinks in his life that now his liver is shot and because he thinks there is no way back he just keeps drinking and drinking and drinking!! Don't get me wrong but I love my parents a lot and I just hurt when I see that they would rather drink then pay a bill or be on time to a family funtion or not spend time with family members that need them. My mom and dad never come down to gramma at all only to pick up their mail because it gets sent here. But when we were leaving to go get my Easter gift dad said can I buy you an Iced tea and I said that I didn't want to be out late and that I don't like to go into bars. AHHHHHH I am venting and I am sorry, but gee wiz it is now getting to the point that I don't even want to give my dad a hug or a kiss hello or goodbye because his body reeks of alcohal. It is sooo bad I feel nauziated. Now my dad these days I can't tell when he is 2 sheets to the wind, but my mom on the other hand, well thats a whole new blog in it self. She is the definition of Jekyl and Hyde. There has been so many times that I have left their house mad and telling her that I am not coming back, But there is no point because she does not remember at all! Anyways its getting late and I start to turn in to a pumpkin these days so.....HMMMM word of advice.....It will have to come later I suppose!!!
Love
Wendy

PS just a reminder this was all ranting and getting things off my mind, but please keep my parents in your prayers for their salvation, they have heard it and they know!!!
W

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Thinking to myself...

So today was a great day!!! Nothing special just great. I woke up early to my cat, Tigger wanting to go out side at 6am. He is a persistant animal. I have never in my life had a cat that needed their human as Tigger does!! Jason and I got him in 1999 and he has been the best purchase I think thus far!! Sometimes I wonder if he knows what I am thinking at times. After going thru this seperation from my husband I spent a lot, I mean A LOT time crying and who was there to sit in my lap and purr to calm me down or show that some one still loved me...Tigger!!! So at 6am this morning I was obviously sleeping(which is something I haven't been doing very well these days) and I hear him WHINE!!!! The only thing that upsets me is that he woke me up before my alarm....UGH! That is one of my pet peeves. But God put something in my cats litte brain to wake me up. I maybe fell back to sleep for about an hour and just laid in bed for a bit and did a lot of praying!!! God wanted me to have a conversation with him and then I read my favorite verse...Ok one of my favorite verses:
Thy WORD is a LAMP unto MY FEET and a LIGHT unto
MY path...Psalm 119:105
Even though I didn't need to read it because I have that memorzized, I sat there in bed and just prayed to my Heavenly Father to be my guide all day and to focus on what is pleasing to him for my day and that just made me have a GREAT ROCKIN', SPECTACULAR...I could go on...DAY!!!
After that I couldn't go back to sleep and by then it was 8am and still not time for my alarm to go off so I flipped on the T.V. and on it was "Saved by the Bell" Yes I am a dork I love that show to this day. Anyways heres to another BEAUTIFUL day tomorrow!!!
Love to all
Wendy

Am I a Christian???

The one question I posed to myself after listening to Pastor Franks sermons in the recent month...Am I saved??? To answer that yes I am now!! But was I when I said I was??? Hmmmmm No, I don't think so. The reason I feel this way is because I had no life change it was all for the expectations of my family and peers at Church. It was always assumptions to me. But now after realizing that I had no life change I understand where all my turmoil in the recent years has been. God was trying to break me and bring me to him. We don't seek God...HE SEEKS US!!!! I am soo happy that I have come to this realization that I have been a sinner all this time up until 3 years ago. It's amazing the things that I have learned the scriptures I have grasped and the love I feel for the Lord.
Have a blessed day
W

Monday, April 9, 2007

Ode to my Sister(s)

This is to my baby sister(who is not really a baby anymore), best friend and everything else that is nice. Growing up we rarely said "I love you" to each other and as most siblings do they tend to not get along in their younger years. Which we did and didn't. We fought and sometimes had punching matches to see who's turn it was to do the dishes, it just was the way we did it. But now after all these years I look back and would never change this part of my life for the world, because it brought out who we truely were to each other then and more now than ever. Today we are the best of friends. We talk more than ever and we now say "I love you" OK I say " I love you" and she says "Uh huh". That is her way of expressing love. Sandy is my blood sister, and I would do anything for her...even Skydive...Yes I will be jumping out of a plane on July 29, 2007 with her and my 3 cousins and aunt and uncle. You only live once, but I never could say no to her to this day I still can't. She is a beautiful, smart hard working person I know who lives only an hour and ten mins away by a scary plane ride. When you are in her company she spoils you to pieces. I went and stayed with her for a week in January for her b-day and this was a very much needed vacation due to my stress level of my husband leaving. Oh did I need the retreat. We spent a lot of time talking and hanging out...Thats what a best friend is...my sis.
Now to my other Sisters...What a ministry you have been to me!!! I love you all!! After not being around for a period of time you still loved me as if I was never missing!!! I Praise and THANK God for you and those that I have made new friends with you are just as important too. Each of you have your own gifts and abilities and it is so encouraging to have some one to look to when you need a hug or someone to just get your thoughts out to. THANK YOU SOOO MUCH!!!! So here you are Amy and Becky I wrote something...Tired but I accomplished!!! I love you two and thank you so much for your love and support and the words of wisdom that God has given you!!
W

Saturday, April 7, 2007

Good Friday

Via Dolorosa



Down the Via Dolorosa in Jerusalem that day. the soldiers tried to clear the narrow streets. But the crowd pressed into see the man condemned to die on Calvary!!!!

He was bleeding from the beatings there were stripes on his back and He wore a crown of thorns on His head. And He bore with every step the scorn of those who cried out for His death.

Down the Via Dolorosa called the way of suffering, like a man came the Messiah Christ the King. But He chose to walk that road out of His LOVE for YOU and ME!!!!

Down the Via Dolorosa all the way to Calvary

Por la Via Dolorosa triste dia en Jerusalem, los saldado le abrian paso a Jesus!

Mas la gente se acercaba para ver al que llevaba aquella cruz.

Por la Via Dolorosa que es la via del delor como ovejavino Cristo rey Senor

Yfue el Quien quiso ir por su AMOR por TI y por MI!!!

Por la Via Dolorosa al calvario y a morir.

The blood that would cleanse the souls of all men made His way to the heart of Jerusalem!!!



Today was(yesterday actually) was the day that is celebrated the crusifixion of my Lord!!! The words above are from a song called Via Dolorosa, sung by Sandy Patti. It is a song that I hold dear to my heart because of the realness that it is. Jesus died for me and you and the rest of the world and he did that so that we can live for ever. Read over the words again and let it sink in what this selfless man did for selfish mankind. May the words have a special meaning as it does to me!!!

For God so LOVED the WORLD that He gave His ONLY begotten son that whoever BELIEVES in Him shall not perish but have EVERLASTING LIFE!!!

John 3:16




Because HE lives!!!
W

Friday, April 6, 2007

My thoughts for the day is that I am excited to announce that I am getting a new vehical!! YEAH!!! Ok so its new to me but I am buying all by my self and now Jason can have a car for himself. Ok so back in January my husband decided that he didn't want to see me depressed and upset so he walked away from our marriage. But yes I was upset and deressed even more after he left. Its worse than loosing a loved one to death. As much as we were polar opposites I still loved him emencly and tho we were not eye to eye with our beliefs I loved him even more. I still do, call me a hopeless romantic but you can't just move on with life just like that. So now Jason and I are talking and hanging out being friends and its nice we work out our thoughts and cry and hang out. Yeah I miss him not being next to me at nite but God has his reason's and right now I am willing to wait. Jason wants to move to New York in September and I don't know what to think, but if it to further his career in comedy and if thats what he wants Im not the person to stand in the way. I am just letting God work in Jason's life and giving all of this to God. Happy Spring!!! Happy Easter!!!!
W

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

The Ultimate LOVE!!!


I am always in awe how the God of the universe created EVERYTHING!!!! One of my favorite and relaxing things to do is photography. This picture was taken on St.Patricks day. It was rainy and icky but the way the fog rolled in and the smell of spring in the air it didn't matter that it rained all day. So I stole my mom's camera and snapped this tulip on her porch. This is a tulip that my grampa bob gave a pot of to my mom one year and these tulips keep coming back and every spring I get to say "Hi" to my grampa who is in Heaven with the creator who created the rain and this beautiful budding spring flower. So today is a day of reflecting on God and His creations. He created me for a purpose though I still don't know why but I serve a purpose as do all those that read this. This is taken from a starbucks cup...The way I see It:
What would you do for someone you love? Would you lie, cheat,steal? Break the law and call it justice? Would you say yes? Scream no? Would you kill? Would you give up your own life? Would you move mountains, swallow fire, keep a promize? Would you change the world? Would you change yourself? What would you do for someone you love???
I cry every time I think what Jesus christ did out of love for me someone who is a sinner, someone who doesnt deserve this kind of love. He laid his life down for me so that I can live. He had to die to make it all happen. How would you feel if someone died for you or went all out. What would you do if Love did that for you. Wouldn't you want to live a life for the one who showed you the ultimate love?? Wouldn't you want to obey any commands and rules that they have set aside for you to follow to become more like them. Wouldn't you want to give Him all the praise and glory He deserves??? Wouldn't you???
It's like the love of a child to their parents. They don't know the things you have done, all they know is that this is mommy and daddy and they only need tohave the trust that they will take care of them. God knows our past, presence and future...He knows and He LOVES reguardless!!! I love all of you!!!!
W

Sunday, April 1, 2007

I am who I am

So to all who know me this is for you. My name is Wendy. I am married but at this moment in time sepperated from my husband. I will eventually get to that here in this new adventure but now I will start from the beginning!!!!
On a hot summer day in June I was born to George and Kay(my parents). Mom wasn't dialating while she was in labor so I was born by C-Section. As far as I know I was a quiet baby and kid growing up. Mom and Dad met when they were in 4H with each other showing rabbits. Mom was 12 and Dad was 16 and they have been together since. Dad grew up all over the west coast from Washington to San Fransisco, CA. Dad grew up in a loving family who did all they could to survive the hardships of life. Dad was the only child but loved from the day Gramma found out she was pregnant. Mom was born and put up fpr adoption and was adopted at 3 days old by Grandpa and Grandma Zylstra. She was brought home to a big brother and lived in Washington all her life....Fast Forward...Eventually Mom and Dad wanted another baby and thats when my best friend was born. Cassandra Lynn was born January 30, 1982, another C-Section for Mom. We grew up with our parents. They were young and had a lot to learn!!! Sandy and I never had the best of the best but we always knew we had the best thing life could and has ever offered LOVE!!!! We were loved by our parents, grandparents, great grandparents, Aunts and Uncles, Cousins, and family friends( I hope I got everyone). We never went with out dispite we weren't rich. We never really had the best of clothing. But we always were dressed. Sometimes we had only Mac and Cheese and that was dinner a lot of nights but at least we were fed. I really look back and thank God for allowing me to go thru these years to learn and I have very much so. I don't really remember my younger years but the only thing I do remember is being up at Lawson Mountain and asking Jesus to come into my life so that I can live forever. So then when I was 12 I was baptized and was headed to JR. high....WOOOOO HOOOOO!!!!! At 12 I also had my first boyfriend Jesse who I met at Church and then we broke up and really I don't remember how long we dated or why we broke up, just that he was my first boyfriend....now that I think of it we never even kissed! I went to Lakeridge Jr High in sumner Washington and in 7th grade I met another guy who was in the 8th grade at an afterschool dance. After the dance, Shawn(my boyfriend #2), his friends Mikey and Jerry all came to my house and we all went to the park down the street with my sister and her friends. That was the day I had my first kiss. Well the realationship ended after a couple weeks. I guess you could say I was a little heartbroken but I moved on...Obviously!!! :) It was also in Jr. High that I did something pretty stupid only because I was tired of having cold lunches that consisted of either tuna fish sandwhiches or PB& J's!!! Repititious.....YUCK!!!! So the stupid thing was that I had a friend, Wendy (nice name) that I hung out with after school a lot. I was at here house one day and saw that her parents had some blank checks laying out and so I took a book and wrote myself checks for hot lunches!!! $10.75 dollars later and good lunches I got caught!!! And it was serious because at this time my parents were always at the bar and never came home to see us and so asking for money for lunches was pointless. Also mom had started to hit me if I made her mad or didn't do my chores all the way or whatever. And they were always when she was drunk. Ok I do have to back up a few years, because mom and dad were so young grama and grampa C. took me on the weekends and brought me home after Church and continued when Sandy was born and because of them I have such a strong love for the Lord my creator. And for this reason I am forever indebted to them for showing me what a Christian is. They both had and have (Grampa passed away Nov. 2002) live a life the way God's word says to live and to this day I still have a lot to learn. Anyways I was caught stealing and in a way that I never want to relive again, but I was called out of class one day to go see the principal and there in his office was a Bonney Lake Police officer. The first thing out of the officer's mouth was the miranda rights...
"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense".
When that was read or told to me I cried not because I was guilty because I tried to pin this on some other person. I cried because if my mom found out I knew I was gonna get smacked around!!!! But the officer knew I did it he just had to put handcuffs on me and I confessed. So because my friend's parent's are Lawyers and work in the system I was able to do what is called a diversion which is basically paying for the crime for first timers by community service or something with out having to go to Juvie. But see nothing happened until almost a year later so for a whole year I thought they just took my sincere apology and fear that my mom was going to beat me and decided to forgive my wrong doings. Well Mr. mail man delivered a letter stating I had to go to this diversion and thats when I had to drop the bomb to my mom. She happened to be in bed all day probably because she was hung over from the night before and she didn't go to work so I went and woke her up which she wasn't to happy about and told her. And I am sure because she didn't want even the light on that she didn't have the energy to smack me around. Mom is a total different person sober and still is to this day!! So she said that I, Me had to tell my dad....UGH!!!! But eventually I went to my diversion and didn't have to do much but pay back the money I spent and promised to stay in Church because my walk with the Lord started to grow. But this is longer than I thought my first time would be I will continue
BECAUSE HE LIVES
Wendy