Just another day!

So I woke up today and felt kinda down in the dumps! This job search and no money for gas has really gotten the bestof me! Yeah I know I should not be anxious for tomorrow but there has to be a breaking point right? I was talking to my gramma yesterday and just to hear her voice made my day! I have for 30 short years been a big part of my grandparents lives and they always seem to just say the right things or send the right things! I recieved in the mail yesterday a CD of last weeks sermon from MY Church back home and haven't listen to it yet but will when I am done! She got it for me because of the choir which she told me that they were missing one person....I just had tears in my eyes!
Lately another struggle for me is my mom! I really don't know what else to say or do about her! I wrote her a letter that told her that I forgave her for all the things that has happened to me that she did and all the things she has said to me to hurt me! And I also asked her why my sister was never treated the way she treated me and she got out of that whole letter that I was jealous of my sister and that I thought of her as the golden child! She never calls me or emails me and just last sunday she called my sister...I haven't talked to her in about a month! I want to have a relationship with her but I just don't think that she wants one with me!
Who knows! I do love her and it is times like this that I WANT MY PAPPA BACK!!! Not a day goes by where I don't think of him! He is always on my mind and still can't believe he is gone!
So I guess this is a little depressing today! I hope I can get thru all this! I need my Free John McArthur devotional!!!!
Wendy