Sometimes I just want to SCREAM out! I said goodbye to my dad today. He actually looked good, he had some color and he also kinda had a goofy smirk on his face! Thats my dad! Today Sandy and I put our foot down and refused to buy my mom any booze! On our way out the door my mom asked if we could pick up a 6pak...and I said what of???...Coca cola??? then she said no bud select(her fave beer) Then I said oh you mean O'doules! Then Sandy and I walked out the door! When we came back we were empty handed and I explained that we WILL NOT buy alcohal and that we are not going to enable her to kill her self with booze like dad did! I can't and won't!
Last nite Sandy and I found not only moms wacky juice stash but also my dad's reserves as well. 2 fifths of GIN, 2 fifth of bottom shelf vodka, 1 fifth of PATRONE Tequilla! And I also had found perscriptions that are some how missing! My sister and I are just LIVID! Don't get me wrong, my dad was a great man he just didn't grow up in some area's in his life! We both at times feel like why are we going the extra mile to make his life look great?? There were GREAT times in our lives but a lot of the memories had some kind of alcohal or drinking! I tried a sip of wine at my aunt and uncles tonite and I couldn't handle the taste. I love to sip on a glass of wine with a meal once in a blue moon but we both just felt ill! I don't think I will ever put a sip in my mouth again!!!! Like I said I just want to SCREAM REALLLLLLLLLLY LOUD!!!!! and at my mom! We have been home for one hour and she is already drunk. I have to let her grieve I know, but it's hard when this will just be repeated in the future! And when that time comes who knows what will happen?? I want to be in my home! I want my boys...Milo and Gizzmo! I want to be near Chris for comfort! I miss my Church in Oregon(not that I don't miss MY CHURCH in WA!!!) I am blessed all around and I just want to be back in my happy place! I have learned I don't like to get out of my daily routines very often. I have learned that not having all that I want right now is not a need but a WANT and that I can wait!!! I learned that you can't discuss funeral decisions with a drunk person. I also learned that you love them even more and hurt for them more because they can't use self control in their lives. The excesiveness of the abuse bantering back and forth. I LOVE being happy!
wendy
About Me
- Wendy
- I am a child of God who has gone thru hell and back in the last year but im better and in a better place...I moved to Central Oregon in May and Im never going back...Ok maybe later on but not nytime soon. After having a breakdown in my life I needed to do something for my self and as much as it hurts to be away from my Church and family I am doing things for myself and LOVE it!!! I have made friends faster than I thought (I use to be really shy and I almost fell back into my shell but my sister was a lot of help. After 9 years of marriage my husband and I have decided that we should divorce and since tha decision I feel better. It's hard to think I spent 9 yrs with some one and its only a piece of paper to tell us that we are no longer married.
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