Halloween

HMMMM not sure what to say but that today I wish I was a kid so I can get FREE candy!!! HEHEHEHEHE!!! Anyways I was just thinking about all the years my sister and I would go Trick or Treating and one year my gramma Dollie made Witche's Brew...don't know what it was made with but I remember she had the apartment decorated and green lights in the lamps and her big pan of witche's brew! Or many times I would go out with my cousins and then we would come back home and inspect our candy for poison pieces of candy. Luckily I never had apples with razor blades! Although my favorite memories are of the Harvest party my Church back home put on! LOTS of games and LOTS...TONS of candy to make a mom run for the hills after her kids have eaten a lot! But now Im 30 and I can't go trick or treating! I guess thats a good thing! Candy isn't really good for me anyways so I guess the thought is always fun!

Book review!!

So I have been reading some books! GOOD books! I just finished, well a couple of weeks ago, the book "The Secret Life of Bees"! I LOVED IT! First of all I didn't want to put it down and it was a fast read to take a person back in time and get lost for a day or two. It was about a young girl who lost her mom in a freak accident and yes I feel the way the mom died was a freak accident. But the young girl and her "nanny" skip town and the adventure begins. Lily finds a picture with writing on the back in the attic of a place and so she sets out and leaves her town. I was drawn in from the start and finished the book in no more than 8 hours! Lily(the main charactor) does not have a strong relationship with her dad and I felt like she was me, I don't have a strong relationship with my mom. I think that by reading it helped me deal with the issues I have with my mom. But other than that it was a great book! Grab hot chocolate and a blanket and just relax.

The new one I am reading is called "The Shack". It is written by a friend of the subject of the story. It is a true story based here in Oregon. And by the way things are going in the story the main charactor(Mack) is dealing with his walk with God and his lack of faith in him after loosing one of his children in a brutal kidnapping and murder. Mack returns to the crime scene 3 years later and has an experience that is amazing to read....Im not done but when I finish I will let you all know about it!

MY MASTER

Why is it when the money is gone and life seems going down a downward spiral and all you do is sink into a hole and don't leave? I have not had any luck finding a job and sometimes I feel like I am a slave of money that my master is my self trying to live and right now it obviously isn't working! Then I read a verse today:
Romans 14:7~8
None of us lives as our own master and none of us dies as our own master. While we live we are responsible to the Lord, and when we die we dia as Christ's servants. Both in life and death WE are the LORDS.

I think that I have figured out why I really haven't gotten a job....maybe because I wasn't GIVING IT ALL TO GOD like I thought I was but now after reading this verse I feel that God is telling me that He is the only one that I have to please and that EVERYTHING I do is in his name. I pray daily for God to help me find work but my heart attitude probably wasn't right. My worries were paying bills and putting gas in my car, or wanting to go and buy some new clothes since the weather is getting colder. And I have been trying to rely on ME not God! Im not my own Master and thankfuly so because I have not been pleased with my self and if a master is not pleased with his or her servant then there are consequences...Right??? Hence no job.
I was soooo bummed last weekend, that I wanted to come home because I knew I could have my job back at the deli or at the parks and rec department for Auburn. But then that just shows that I was running away from my problems rather than facing them strait down the barrel. I need Prayer I need it for 1. a job 2. that I just TRUST THE LORDS TIMING! 3. that I have peace.
Wendy

Today was a GREAT day!

For once in about a week I really felt GREAT and HAPPY! First it started that I had my dentist appointment! And boy did I wish I had some seditives or something to calm my anxiety! But I just prayed and prayed and prayed. At first Chris was gonna go with me to just be ther for me then early this morning he got a phone call from a friend who had some work he needed help with so he felt bad that I was going a lone but reassured me that Dr. Allen is a wonderful man and a Christian! And that he won't hurt me! And he pointed out to me since we need the extra income that it would be good for him to go do this! It may turn into some extra work we have been praying for thru the local Habbitat for Humanity. It doesn't pay much but it helps those trying to get into their first home. And to him thats what matters! So I had to put my selfishness aside and go by my self! I got to the dentist and I was in and out with in 25 mins. AND IT DIDN'T HURT!!! THANK YOU LORD! Then I went all over Prineville(locals call it tweakerville due to all the meth problems there) and filled out applications for jobs! I was successful in filling out 4 applications and felt good doing it! Then I came home and the house was empty so I sat and caught up on at least one of my good...wait I take that back...one of my longest and bestest friends blog(yes Aim Im talking about yours)Blog...God made playdough! And just read and was ministered to! THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH AMY LOU!!! Your Girls are soooo BEAUTIFUL~ Butterflies don't hurt people like spiders! And then being home alone I got on the phone and called my Gramma Dollie~my hero, best friend, and mentor! We chatted ok she chatted but I just listen to her like there was no end and I didn't want to get of the phone but the cordless phone battery was dying! but we talked for at least an hour and a half! It was wonderful it made my day! So that sums most of it all up today and will try more tomorrow!
Love you all
W

How to convey my true feelings!

I have had the the hardest 3 days this past week! Friday early morning I woke up with a raging headache and threw up and was ill feeling the rest of the day along with saturday! On top of it all I was rejected at Target and that just made life even more upsetting since I have bills piling up and no revenue to take care of it all! AND IM NOT ASKING FOR HELP!!!! Right now the job circut is just a huge void in this area unless if you want to work for Ronald McDonald! And frankly I don't think having a clown for a boss would suit me!

On top of all this I have been REALLY MISSING MY DAD! At time I can't hardly stand it! I just keep it all to my self and then explode in tears! I hear songs and see things and just wish I had just one more minute! But I do know that God knows the time and day we leave this world and we can't controll that at all! I know my life or this world doesn't revolve around my dad but yet I feel the constant pain of not being able to talk to him! Or to send him pictures he would gloat about or make him come down here to visit! All this and with the Holidays around the corner doesn't help! At times my thoughts are just thoughts and I can never really get out what I want to say! I know that God is throwing this hurdle at me! Why??? I don't know. Church today was missionaries so I really didn't get any spiritual food! I am sooo waiting for my John McArther devotional book!
these are just whats going on inmy crazey brain!
Wendy

OK

So in my last blog I was REALLY bummed! It seemed that I would write an email to someone or something and never got replies until 2 weeks or so later! Hence the reason I was thinking about given up my blog! The past 3 weeks have been really hard on me due to not having a job! I lost my job working with Sandy because of sales not being where they need to be and so the owner had to step up and get rid of some costs! I understand but I found out the day after I came back from camping a week and so I barely had a paycheck and my cleaning job is dwindling down for the winter season! So I have been mad dashing all over central Oregon looking for any job I can find! I did have an interview with Target the other day and I think I will call them tomorrow!
Other than that I am still here and loving it A LOT! I have been going to bend 2 times a week for Physical Therapy which I am finding VERY beneficial! I feel better than I did when I was seeing my other PT! These people I see have been the most nicest and caring set of Physical Therapist I have ever encountered! My doctor also sent me home a prescription for 8 sessions of full body massage since the deep tissue I get has been helping on my neck and shoulder muscles! I went steel head fishing in September and no luck! We got skunked! Oh well!
I have been doing a little wedding planning though! We decided to have a small ceremony here at Chris' parents house and not be such a big ordeal! I really don't want a big wedding and neither does he but his mom expressed she wants to be there when we tie the knot!! So sorry if you cant attend! I would have every one there! I got Sandy to commit to catering dinner! She has quite the knack for cooking! And our wedding cake is going to be CHOCOLATE!!!! At Fred meyers they have a chocolate cake that is 4 layers high and in the middle has chocolate fudge and the icing is a chocolate G-nosh(can't spell what I want to say) say the "G" like you were going to say "gun". And then they will put the red roses on it for me! 20 bucks for a wedding cake! We are going to write our own Vows which was Chris' Idea! HMMMM lets see....and since we both LOVE M&M's we are gonna get some personalized! I could go on and on but don't want to bore you! My Divorce should be finalized here in a couple weeks which I can't wait!
I would add recent pictures but I can't upload on the computer here because it is the old school dial up and it takes a million years to up load so when I go to the Library next time I will add some pictures!
I am having a hard time with the holidays around the corner and not having my daddy around! I keep on thinking that he is still here and that I am just asleep and I will wake up and he will be here! The hardest thing for me to deal with is that he won't be here to give me away to Chris! If my Aunt and Uncle come down then my uncle will give me away! but still it won't be the same! I talk to my mom at least once a week but they are short conversations! I do call my gramma more often then my mom though! and now her Email is up I can write her more often! And occasionally snail mail too! Lately I have gotten into snail mail letters I love getting mail and love sending it too! I think I am caught up! Thank you for reassuring me I still have "fans" in the blogging world! I love you all and will try to keep up on this thing!
wendy

Does anybody read my blog anymore??

I sometimes think I want to keep blogging but it just doesn't seem to me that no body reads! At times I write stuff and want opinions and never get them so I may stop blogging! you can email me if you want to know whats up!
wendygurl1978@gmail.com
Wendy

Have you ever???

Have you ever LOVED some one that you wished that time just stood still forever? I truely have found that person! HE is soooo loving and caring and he just makes me feel loved! My days of wondering if love and trust were ever going to happen ended! I read a quote that said: "Don't marry someone you can live with but marry someone you can't live without" When I come home from work he is there to ask me how my day was, to listen to my rants and raves, he protects me by carring for my needs in all aspects of life! He is the most respectful person I know. He has taught me new things about fishing and life! I LOVE CHRIS SOOOO MUCH! I am blessed to have him in my life and to share my spirituality with! God has His reason's for why we go thru the things we go thru and I am Thanking him everyday that He brought me to the place I am today!