So I have officially been here in Washington for 2 weeks and want to go back home SOOOOOOO BAD!!! I feel that me being here has done nothing for the care of my dad but to enable him to continue to kill himself in front of me.
This past weekend(june 1) I was sitting with my family for dinner(mom dad sis bro and gram)out of the six of us only 2 were drunk and ill let you guess....YUP my mom and Gramma...ok just kidding but seriously my parents! Just toasted up on Vodka and wine and maybe some beer! But as we wer sitting down to eat, my mom during her drunken ramblings and audacious comments she proceeds to inform me that I was the # 1 mistake...then retracted and said I was actually the #2 mistake. Now a lot of emotion went thru my body and words I so don't even dare say or think came boiling up my tongue. I just sat there in pure awe, thinking that my thoughts of her resenting me were not a lie.
So that was the decision point of my stay her in Washington. Then I had met with my pastor with my sister and even helped me feel better about my decision. I am SOOO HAPPY in Oregon! I have had some hang ups since being there but over all I was and am able to overcome anything by putting my trust in Christ that he is still there for me even if I don't go to Valley. Even if to my mom I was a mistake I know that to God I WAS ALWAYS PLANNED! I understand that my parents are probably never gonna change their ways but I do trust that God has a hand in all that happens in my life and both of theirs! Only He knows their true hearts! I know that I need to forgive my mom but it truely hurts especially when she hasn't apologized for any of the torment or anguish she put me thru!
I want God to use me in what ever way He has planned for me in the near future about my parents.
So then this brings me to my next venting point...My dad made an appointment to see his doctor for today June 5. Well yesterday he went to the store and said that "oh by the way the doctors office called to say that they had to reschedual his drs. appt!" So here I am Sherlock Holmes, doing some investigating and called the doctor to see if Dr was in the office(dad said the dr was out of town and that they forgot to mark it in his calender) and of course she said that the doc was in and that my dad did call yesterday to cancel but that the appointment was still open!
What a let down and horrible feeling of dissappointment! I now even more want to be back in Oregon! Sandy and I are just sick with not knowing what to do but just pray and leave!
I believe it is 1Peter 5:7 where it says "cast all your care upon Him because He cares for us"
Thats my fervant prayer and mindset that I just have to give it all up to him...ALL of it!
Wendy
About Me
- Wendy
- I am a child of God who has gone thru hell and back in the last year but im better and in a better place...I moved to Central Oregon in May and Im never going back...Ok maybe later on but not nytime soon. After having a breakdown in my life I needed to do something for my self and as much as it hurts to be away from my Church and family I am doing things for myself and LOVE it!!! I have made friends faster than I thought (I use to be really shy and I almost fell back into my shell but my sister was a lot of help. After 9 years of marriage my husband and I have decided that we should divorce and since tha decision I feel better. It's hard to think I spent 9 yrs with some one and its only a piece of paper to tell us that we are no longer married.
1 comment:
Wendy...my heart goes out to you...I'm so sorry for how your parents are treating you and Sandy.....I bet you are so thankful for the foundation and love that your grandparents gave you....that was a blessing from God. As far as your mom saying you were a mistake...as you said, God planned you before the foundation of the world, there was never any mistake. I admire you greatly for your courage and your strength.......which are actually gifts you may have never had if you had different parents. You have become a wonderful, gifted woman.....always keep your focus on God...remember you have an audience of one! It's only HIM that matters....so glorify HIM in all you do, all you say, and wherever you go. I was glad to here that you had come home....but I see that your heart is now in Oregon. Just be very careful what you do with the hurt that you take back with you....be careful of your relationships, keep them holy and pure. I love you Wendy, I really do, you are like a daughter. I'll pray for you!
Love, the OLDER Wendy E.
Post a Comment