What I have become

I have been not sure of how I feel these days! I have AWESOME days and then I have ok days and just a lot of blah, confused, unsure ect...days! I sometimes think that I need to wipe out my old life and just start a new one. I feel so unattatched from my mom and wonder if I will ever have a relationship with her. I am in constant pain because of my stupid car accident. I am not divorced yet like I wanted to be because I have to have my papers notorized which i didn't know about. I have not been able to get any finacial help from my ex husband because he is a stand up comedian and hasn't figured out that after 14 years he isnt famous. Im not asking for handouts or help I am just venting because I can get out what I want to say in writing rather than talking...
BUT even though I feel this way I wouldn't change a single choice I have made, or the jobs I have worked or the people I have married or dated. I can say one thing that I have to go to church. I haven't gone in 2 weeks and I can tell. Chris can tell too! I am blessed he encourages me and us to go to church and to sit and do devotions in the morning and to pray together! Its awesome!

Wendy

The Olympics

I am soooo addicted to the Olympics and everything about them! No I don't miss work or Church or things I need to do in the day just to watch them. But I am amazed of how much these athletes do! I was watching "Today" and they were talking about how much Michael Phelps eats for breakfast...like 2000 calories in one sitting. Thats more than I am supose to eat in a day acording to my doctors. They need all that for just pure burnable energy!
I sit in awe when I see the gymnastics events and am just amazed how these people can just twist and turn in ways I can't and probably will never get the chance to do. I see how most of these athletes become role models for our younger generation and maybe the older ones as well.

My Boys

These are some fun pictures of my two boys! The first one is Milo and Gizzmo doing what they do best....SLEEP!!

The second, third and fourth are pictures of Gizzmo in the "cat" house by Chris' wood shop.

And this is my Big baby Milo! He just had his 9th Birthday on August 4th!

Oooooppsss I did it again..... :)

I got another tattoo......Yes it is a butterfly but it is morphed into an elephant head. It's kool I think :) It kinda hurt but not bad. It is on the back of my right leg on the calf. There is something about getting ink done that is theraputic. Every tattoo I have on me is for the important people of my life. I guess my way of honoring them. I will post pictures soon...slow computer that doesn't like to download pictures! :(
love you all
me

Coffee Talk...

So today Im just gonna ramble. I woke to the sounds of ground shaking loud thunder and my dog licking my face profusely! So I got up and made some coffee and sat in the living room with a family friend and watched the lightning and chatted. I had a great day yesterday...an unplanned GREAT day! Chris and I were doing our monthly chore of cans(here in Oregon you can recycle and get 5 cents per can)(good gas money) and got a phone call from his mom. She wanted to know where we were at and asked us if we could meet her at Fred Meyers and since it was Bobs bday(Chris' stepdad who is also called poppa) and we were cooking dinner for him we thought she wanted us to help shop....Well when we got there she had already did the shopping and she leaned over to whisper in Chris' ear and then told me to go get my engagement ring. So I finally got my ring !!! I have never been soooooooo excited and I just felt like now it is for real! I read a quote that said "Don't marry someone you can live with, marry someone you can't live with out!"
I have truely found that someone!!!! I know I have said this about Jason but I was young and rebelling and was just trying to escape. I moved here to Oregon to get a fresh new start on life and had no intentions of staying here longer than 3 or 4 months. After realizing that I felt healthy and HAPPY being here I decided to stay for a longer period of time. So I moved my stuff and myself to my cousins in Powell Butte and lived there for a little bit and was hanging out fishing and walking the dogs with my neighbor Chris. We became good friends and learned more and more about each other and found we have a lot in common and that we have the same goal of simplicity. We then started to fall for each other and again I HAD MY GUARDS UP REALLY HIGH!!!! I was a little brat sometimes as he was too at times! But once we sat down and discussed how we felt, we released the walls and became closer than ever. We both have a strong LOVE for the Lord more and more each day and we both are learning together.
I Truely with out a doubt believe that God gives us things and conflicts and hurdles to make us stronger but also to bring us back to him. Im praising God daily for my tribulations and my many Joys!
Wendy

DATING?!!???!!!?

Is this really suppose to happen this soon after your husbands death??? My mom has informed me that she has gone on a few dates with different men...I feel a little angry of the disrespect that she has shown towards my dad in life and death and now this is just another chapter in the book. Sandy sees it as it could be a blessing in disquise and that maybe this dude doesn't drink as much as she does and could be a good thing. Maybe she will cut back on drinking. But then again as I was talking with her last nite she was drunk and I couldn't stand to be on the phone with her.

Other news in my life....I had my MRI and my bones looked normal soooooo now I get to see a Chronic Pain Specialist! Oh YEAH!!! The pain I feel is intensly irritating! I wake up in the morning in pain go thru the day in pain and then by the evening is around I feel ok and then when it is time to settle down then the circle starts over! So the doc said that my pain is in my muscles.
wendy