It's My Life that God is in control of

Back in the Habbit

2010-08-06T07:51:00.001-07:00

So it has been a LOOOOOOOng time since I have even blogged a word or two. I am going to try to keep this up as much as I am on the computer, why not...

A lot has changed and happened in the past year or so. I am still in Central Oregon and LOVING it!!! My dad passed away and to this day I am greiving. I miss my Pappa. Knowing that I am never gonna be able to share a memory or a wise crack or just plain nothing, makes me cry and sad. I do not know if he is in heaven and I am only hoping he is. My Mom just recently checked herself into rehab for ALCOHALISM!!! This has made me a VERY happy girl!!!! She is in for 6 months and for free. This is thru the Salvation Army. After I read her first letter she sounds happy and has been doing homework, going to church twice a week and meetings 3 times a week! I want this to happen for her, I want her to be healthy! I want her and I to heal and have a realationship! I love my mom and only want to have the best for her!

Chris and I are doing awesome! Our little family has grown from 1 dog child to 3! I Wouldn't have it any other way! They are our children and they do keep us busy! Gizzmo has a son Junior and then 6 mos later we had an opps puppy!! Sonny is a wild boy! He is pitbull and chow chow mix! He is gonna be a big boy and a protector!

I am proud to be where I am today!

~Wendy

Almost there....

2009-02-06T11:36:00.001-08:00

I will be in Washington around 10pm tonite!!! I can't wait to see my family! Is The REV preaching this Sunday or still laid up from his ankle accident???
See you all on Sunday!
Love you all
Wendy

PS you are all my family too! :)

PRAISE And Prayer Update!

2009-01-28T16:16:00.000-08:00

Just a little update...I will be for sure coming up on the 6,7,&8 of February in which I will be dragging my sister to CHURCH!!!! so hopefully I get to see all of you...What time is Church??? Anyways my friend Jessica here in Oregon, her dad is off the ventilator tube and his heart is pumping on its own!!! What a way to show how prayer works! I am still struggling about my trip up to Washington only because of finaces...I just don't have them and sandy is scrimping and saving too for her move to TEXAS!!! That will be another blog about her leaving...I am having a hard time realizing she is moving even further away then I could drive in a day!
Will write more later!
Love you all
Wendy

Where I have been!

2009-01-23T16:17:00.000-08:00

Where to start....Hmmm...Life definetly hasn't handed over those lemons to make lemon aid so that I could sell it and live a little. I am sooo stressed and confused and worrysome and just don't feel like myself these days! I haven't found a job yet but I have many upon many applications out in what we call the real world. I have though been helping out my cousin since she just had surgery on her rotator cuff. So I do get a few dollars here and there mainly for gas. I would get more but her husband is adamant that I help her out and work off my tooth that he paid for when I needed a cap on it. But taking her here and there for her job has worn me out, I am able to put applications in at jobs but I have to work her Schedule. But now here is the worry if I do get a job how do I help her out...See my worry?
I am coming home to Washington for my cousin's wedding and an early birthday for my mom in February. (Feb. 6,7,8) My friend Jessica is letting me take her car and she is getting a rental but little ol me has to pay for the rental...Another worry :(
But for everything else I am happy. I love living here and waking up and looking out of the kitchen window and see the Cascade Mountain range! It is soooo BEAUTIFUL! It's weird living on this side of the mountains. And knowing it takes about 2 hours to get to I5 if I want to!
I went to Portland last wednesday thru friday with Jessica for her dads open heart surgery. He went thru the surgery well but he has not been off the ventilator or the heart something that is helping his heart keep beating. They (the docs) took him off or the heart thing and with in 10 mins his heart went to only 20% usage. They are also weaning him off of the meds and 1% oxygen every 12 hours to see how much he can handle on his own. I know that he is not saved and im not totally sure about Jessica. I know that she has another friend that is a christian and very strong ones at that.
I guess on a better side of things I have started bible study on wednesdays at Church and the study I chose was Beth Moore's study on Esther~It's hard being a woman! We have only done 2 weeks so far but I love it! And I am enjoying the weekly studies in the workbook! Also I have been helping out in Children's Church too! The kids are sooo cute! One of the little guys gave me his picture he colored in class, its on my wall! (so is the one I got from Rylie too )
So thats what has been going on in this crazey girls life!
Miss and LOVE YOU ALL!!!
Lil W
PS
I haven't started the exercising because I have been having heart palpitation's and Chris wants me to see a doctor first before my heart explodes as he puts it! So I have an appointment on Feb 3 in Madras(about 45mins away from me) But I have kicked the caffeine (yeah nooooo coffee:( ) and I dropped soda too.........Oh but I am truely gonna go back to school in the fall or maybe in the summer to become a medical assistant! Ok I think I am done!
Wendy

OOOOPSS my mistake...

2009-01-08T19:06:00.000-08:00

I am not much for writing today but I will soon. I have been helping my cousin Vickie out due to her not being able to move her shoulders! She saw her doc yesterday and confirmed she will be having surgery with in the month so hopefuly my background check came back and I can start working. I will be taking over her clients (her son and a neighbor girl). What I will be doing is taking them to work and various places they need to go. I will be working for a care facility for those that are mentaly and developementaly challenged...those with special needs! It's not a lot of money but something for now! I didn't really make any kind of resolutions this year but I would like to work on writing letters and sending card to my people SOOOOOO, I need a favor...Could somebody send me in the mail a copy of the Valley Bible Church directory...before the merge??? Also I need Danny and Sara's address too! Thanks! Email me @ wendygurl1978@gmail.com
Love you all
Wendy

Happy NEW YEAR!!!

2008-12-31T22:49:00.000-08:00

So I don't believe in resolutions but I am going to try to excersie this next year and become more healthier~ oh and find a JOB!!
Happy New Year!
Wendy

Hey Toto I think we are in Washington!

2008-12-29T09:47:00.000-08:00

WOW!!! It is raining!!! I feel right now that I am in washington....All the snow is melted and gone away. I kinda miss it but now I can go and find more joby jobs~ Please keep me in prayer for work!
Other than that I am good and happy!
Love you
Wendy

The aftermath!

2008-12-27T09:27:00.001-08:00

What a day it was and will now go down in the Wendy Christmas archives as being one of the best Christmas' thus far! Not because of gifts but because I was with family I love. I spent the morning with Chris and his family opened gifts and then I cooked breakfast!!! Sandy and Justin came over to my cousin's next door and cooked them prime rib dinner since they were gonna be alone so I went and hung out while my family were all napping! :) Then I was back in the kitchen (which was my gift) and made prime rib, sweet potatoes(mmm yummmm) mashed ones too and other things! But the fun part was that Chris' mom and his neice(she claims me as her aunt) and I sat down and played Sorry...I haven't played that game since I was a kid. It was kinda fun since I won! :) After the game of Sorry we were going to play Scrabble but instead all of us had a some sort of beer or wine and we just sat and chatted around the breakfast bar with our friend Camron who came to visit us! It was nice! Then we went back over to my cousins and hung out for a little while. It sure was a day!
Wendy

Merry Christmas!!!

2008-12-23T17:25:00.000-08:00

To all my family, friends and fans I have out there in cyber, blogger land....
May the season bring you Joy and Happiness to you and all your families! It has been a year! A hard year and a happy one as well! I won't go and repeat all the stuff in my blog in the past year and bore you all But I just want to let some of you know on a personal note how much you all mean to me!

Pastor and Wendy:
What and where do I start or say! You both have been a major part of my life and I am blessed to be one of the kids(both sandy and I) I am thankful for the love you guys have shown my family over all the years and especially in the most recent with Grampa in heaven and how you have helped and taken care of Gramma when I cannot be there! And I am thankful that you two have been such Godly "parents" to me and helping me get thru the rough moments (which sometimes don't seem to stop). Thank you for ALWAYS being there with encouragement and love!
I love you guys!

Amy and Ryan:
Amy as long as I can remember you have always been my closest and dearest friend reguardless of the miles between us! You hold a special part in my heart that will never be given to anyone else! (Ryan too!) Both you and Ryan have also encouraged me to be a stronger Christian woman and I thank you for that! By your walk I see the Lord sooo clear as day in you! I know we have our moments but I never see that in you! I loove you Amy Lou and your family!
PS tell Pam and Moo Thank you for the Christmas card! It meant a lot!

Jessica
Thank you for being you! I really appreciate all the little comments you leave me here! And it makes me feel loved to know that you care! I still have the 5 bucks for the frozen custard place! May you and Chris be blessed this Christmas with your little angel's first Christmas! I love you Jess!
May the reason for the season be of Our Lord Jesus and be a time of fun and blessing with our families!
Love you all!
Wendy

Snow Snow Snow and still more snow to come!

2008-12-22T09:11:00.000-08:00

Well it's official! I LOVE THE SNOW!!! Ok not that drastic but it is sooo pretty! The other nite Chris and I were walking around in the snow and one of the outside lights were on and we actually saw an individual snow flake and it was soooooo beautiful and delicate looking! Snow flakes really do look like the ones we see hanging around or on tv or where ever! And the awesome thing is that it is another one of God's amazing creation! The only thing that discourages me of the snow is the lack of experience I have driving in it and the lack of studs or chains for our truck! So that means being stranded. But you just learn to deal with it and go on with your lives!
Yesterday my little man...AKA Gizzmo decided he needed to go potty and well he has been having problems coming home when called. So now we are back to puppy training, back on a leash and going out only when mommy takes him out! Im bummed I have to do this again because HE LOVES the snow and to not let him play in it bothers me! Sometimes I wonder if it bothered my parents when they put us on groundation and knew there was something going on that we wanted to do if they felt bad we couldn't go and enjoy it!
I went to the Christmas program last night with my cousin and her family! It was soo cute and hard for me at the same time! I was an actual audience member and not involved in it. Of course the little ones singing "Away in the Manger" was a hit! And the teen agers were quite the actors! They put on a funny little skit! It got me a little more in the Christmas spirit! I know that I should be in the spirit because this is the time to celebrate the birth of Jesus and in my heart I am overwhelmed by the Love that God gave us that night in a manger. But the human part of the celebrating has been a hard one! I thought I would be ok but I am a mess! and I go thru it day after day one day at a time!
I love you all
wendy

It's been awhile

2008-12-20T13:40:00.000-08:00

Ok so I haven't written in a while and it's only because our computer here is super duper sloooooooooooow and lately it doesn't want to load up blogger!!!!
We have been having a DUMPING of snow here and I LOVE IT!!! This will be my first White Christmas that I can remember. I am having a difficult time with the season though! Last year I was able to go home and be with my family up in Washington. My dad for our family get together my dad dressed up like Santa. The whole family loved it especially the kids! My dad of all just LOVED doing it and watching the kids! We all got pictures with Santa and told him what we wanted for Christmas and as I was sitting on his lap I told him I was a good girl and that I wanted a car for Christmas, since I was in an accident 2 months prior and needed some wheels!
So the next morning(Christmas) I opened all my presents and low and behold I got a car! But not what you think! It was my dream car '69 dodge charger but only a hotwheel version! But we both started to laugh and it was just the both of us because it was between my daddy and me!
I didn't really think I was going to have such a hard time this Christmas season but I am! Not having a job has been the icing on the cake. Not even sending Christmas cards to my family or buying gifts for every one is the hard! But really not having my dad around is has been the hardest thing for me to endure! Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get over it all but only Gods knows!
Another hard thing for me is that I won't be able to go to my Valley Bible anymore! We merged with another Church and the other building is much bigger to hold both congregations! I wanted to be at the last service but unfortunately the weather and the lack of transportation is the reason. I have sooooo many memories there at Valley! And I will always hold them all dear to my heart!
The one thing that has been a joy to me is recieving the few Christmas card from family and friends!
I love you all and wish the Merriest and happiest Christmas with your family and friends. Be safe and good to eachother!
I love you all!
Wendy

Desprately need some feedback...PLEASE...What I have Observed lately

2008-12-09T11:40:00.000-08:00

I go to church every sunday if I am allowed too...(I rarely miss) and I don't sit in the same place every sunday like I did in Washington. Anyways Church starts out with praise and worship, then we do the Lords Supper...every sunday. First thing is that the way they do the Lord's supper is that we ALL line up and there are 4 tables that have the bread and juice along with the offering boxes. I don't like this. I don't feel like I am honoring the Lord's supper as I am to do so. The pastor doesn't even read the passages in the Bible that explain what each thing symbolizes. But because I want to honor God I go and do the Lord's supper.

Then after that we have a time for silent prayer which I think and believe we should do before communion because we need to have our hearts right before partaking in communion...right??? So knowing this I try to sit as far in the back as I can so I can have that most intimate time with my LORD!

Then the pastor gets up and does his speech, er i mean sermon...I notice first that he has the verse's that he is preaching from on the screens and lets the congregation know that they can find the passage on whatever pages. FIRST not only do I notice that the congregation or most of them not pick up the Bible in front of them but I rarely see any one carry one in with them!!! SECOND the pastor doesn't even break open his bible and really I don't think I ever see him with one in his hands!
I guess I hold my church, Valley Bible, in washington at such a high level that there are no Churhes good enough for me! I chose this church I am going to because it is not radical, they do a lot for the community and for their people. But I honestly think that a lot of the congregation are only sunday christians! The way the church is and the seats are posistioned you can see a lot of people and what they are doing! And I see couples with their arms around each other and mom's carring for their babies! And the only people with their bibles open were 2 teenage girls sitting in front of me and mom and dad not!
You would think that if the verses were provided that you would see people take notes right??? NOT!!!
One lady whom I was sitting next too made the comment to me "boy you sure have a lot of notes in your bible"(ephesians)
Now on to the sermon....I have been biting my tongue because I am not a pastor nor someone that has any authority to say but I am at loss of what to think! The pastor does have a message and he gets it across in a short amount of time(it could be because of 3 services) but I feel no conviction and feel like they are sugar coated with what the congregation wants to hear.

Honestly I do like this Church. The womens bible study is great! After the new year I am going to join the group that is doing Beth Moore's-Esther: It's tough being a woman. I am excited!
Anyways I want to meet with the pastor and tell him what I have observed but do I have the right to do so???
Wendy

Santa Baby

2008-12-05T09:59:00.000-08:00

Ok so here is another song that makes me giggle every time I hear it! My gramma at times has sung it when ever it came on the radio along with a little goofy dance or something! She draws out the inner Eartha Kitt!

Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree,For me.

been an awful good girl,Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa baby, a 54 convertible too,Light blue.

I'll wait up for you dear,Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Think of all the fun I've missed,Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed,

Next year I could be just as good,

If you'll check off my Christmas list,

Santa baby, I wanna yacht,

And really that's not a lot,Been an angel all year,

Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa honey, there's one thing I really do need,The deed

To a platinum mine,

Santa honey, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa cutie, and fill my stocking with a duplex,

And checks.

Sign your 'X' on the line,Santa cutie,

and hurry down the chimney tonight.

Come and trim my Christmas tree,

With some decorations bought at Tiffany's,

I really do believe in you,

Let's see if you believe in me,

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing,

A ring. I don't mean on the phone,

Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight,

Hurry down the chimney tonight,

Hurry, tonight.

Still no word yet on the job! As of yesterday she still had to do my refrences. Also my cousin Ryan is doing well as of Last friday. He had a skin graph taken from his leg to put on the wound where it was too swollen to stitch up! I am not sure if he is home, last email I got he was to go home on wednesday! The family is all getting together to help put up Christmas lights and do a turkey day just for him next week! I wish I could be there!

Talk to you soon

wendy

Grandma Got ran over by a Reindeer...

2008-12-04T09:19:00.000-08:00

OK so this is in the silly kinda goofy part of my life! Chris and I were chatting with another and I was telling him about my blog and what I was doing and asked him what his favorite or one of his faves Christmas songs! SO he came up with Grandma got ran over by a reindeer!!!
I was thinking to my self that I sure hope my gramma doesn't over indulge in eggnog this year!!! I won't be home to protect her from Santa's mean old reindeer!

Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer is a goofy Christmas song and an animated movie.
Written by Randy Brooks, the song was originally performed by the husband and wife duo of Elmo and Patsy Shropshire in 1979. In the lyrics, the grandmother of the family gets drunk from drinking too much eggnog and decides to return home to retrieve her forgotten medication. In the course of her walk, she is run over by Santa and killed (however, the video has her stagger in alive at the end)

Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer

Grandma got run over by a reindeer Walking home from our house Christmas eve.

You can say there's no such thing as Santa, But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
She'd been drinking too much eggnog,

And we'd begged her not to go.

But she'd left her medication, So she stumbled out the door into the snow.
When they found her Christmas morning, At the scene of the attack.

There were hoof prints on her forehead, And incriminating Claus marks on her back.

Grandma got run over by a reindeer, Walking' home from our house Christmas eve.

You can say there's no such thing as Santa, But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

Now were all so proud of Grandpa, He's been taking this so well.

See him in there watching football, Drinking' beer and playing cards with cousin Belle.
It's not Christmas without Grandma. All the family's dressed in black.
And we just can't help but wonder: Should we open up her gifts or send them back?

Grandma got run over by a reindeer, Walking home from our house Christmas eve.

You can say there's no such thing as Santa, But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

Now the goose is on the table And the pudding made of fig.

And a blue and silver candle, That would just have matched the hair in Grandma's wig.
I've warned all my friends and neighbors. Better watch out for yourselves.

They should never give a license, To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves.

Grandma got run over by a reindeer, Walking' home from our house, Christmas eve.

You can say there's no such thing as Santa, But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

Enjoy a giggle for the day!

Wendy

PS I called the job that I had an interview for and they haven't finished my references yet!!

I almost have it!!!

2008-12-03T15:04:00.000-08:00

So the interview went GREAT!!! They have to check my job references and personal ones too and I should get a call today or tomorrow! They are in need of flexible workers able to do 24 hr shifts along with a few hourly ones as well! SOOOOOOOOOO I will let you all know more when I hear more!
LOVE
ME

EXCITING AND WONDERFUL NEWS!!!!

2008-12-02T22:07:00.000-08:00

I got a Job interview tomorrow at 1:00pm at for a senior in home care giving agency!!! I am soooo EXCITED I can't contain myself! PLEASE PRAY FOR ME on or around or whenever before 1!!! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZEE!!!!

I will fill you all in! oh yeah Hey Rev I did put you down for a reference!!! :)
Love ya all
and Because HE LIVES!!!
Wendy

O Holy Night...day 2

2008-12-02T12:30:00.000-08:00

Holy Night...Day 2 This song makes tears come to my eyes EVERY time I hear or try to sing it! It reminds me that even though my Grampa Culbertson bah humbuged Christmas on the outside he was the biggest giddiest kid too! One Christmas season WAY back when he sang this for our church Christmas program and when I hear it I always hear him singing it not the singer. This was one song I wished I was able to sing with him but never got the chance. My grampa had such a beautiful voice and this was something we had in common. We would sing and sing on our way to Church on family trips or just on the weekends at grampa and gramma's house.

O holy night, the stars are brightly shining,

It is the night of the dear Savior’s birth;

Long lay the world in sin and error pining,

Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth.

A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,

For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn

Chorus

Fall on your knees, Oh hear the angel voices!

O night divine, O night when Christ was born!

O night, O holy night, O night divine.

2. Led by the light of faith serenely beaming

With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand

So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming

Here come the wise men from Orient land

The King of Kings lay thus in lowly manger

In all our trials born to be our friend.

Chorus

He knows our need, He guardeth us from danger

Behold your King! Before Him lowly bend!

3. Truly He taught us to love one another

His law is love and His gospel is peace

Chains shall He break, for the slave is our brother,

And in His name all oppression shall cease.

Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,

Let all within us praise His holy name.

Chorus

Christ is the Lord, O praise His name forever!

His pow'r and glory evermore proclaim!

May the words bless you as they do me~

Love you all and much!

Wendy

"White Christmas"...Day one

2008-12-01T07:15:00.000-08:00

So this is one of my ALL time favorite movies to watch around the holidays! It brings a lot of wonderful memories to head. One of them is that this movie would always come on when my sister Sandy and I would stay the night at Gramma and Grampa Culbertson's on the weekends. And of course we would sit and watch it. Grampa and I then would start crooning together all the Bing Crosby songs and yes the Hanes sisters too! I thought that it was cool to be able to have Bing Crosby in surround sound. When Grampa sang he had a golden voice like ol' Bing and I would love to hear him sing.
"White Christmas" was written ny Irving Berlin in early 1940 making fun of the californians, there is a verse before the chorus we know. It was also first sang in the movie staring Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire called "Holiday Inn". White Christmas also received the Academy Award for the best song that year.
"White Christmas is famous for other reasons as well. The World War II had destroyed not only the nations but also the hopes and aspirations of millions. With an uncertain future the dark bleak days were a torment to many. White Christmas was like a fresh breeze, giving a feel-good feeling and succor to the tormented souls. The main reason was the song expresses a sense of yearning and peace. By the time the war got over, White Christmas was the biggest selling single, a record unbroken for more than fifty years." (taken from the website http://www.christmascarnivals.com/christmas-history/history-white-christmas.html )
White Christmas was then made into a Musical in 1954 which stars GREAT old timmers like Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Rosemary Clooney(Yes, George Clooney's Aunt) and Vera-Ellen. One little tid bit is that Vera-Ellen was a very disaplined dance where as Clooney was a beautiful singer. They had to dub in another singers voice for any songs that Vera-Ellen sang in that movie.
White Christmas

The sun is shining

The grass is green

The orange and palm trees sway.

I've never seen such a day

In Beverly Hills LA.

But it's December the 24th

And I am longing to be up North.

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

Just like the ones I used to know.

Where the treetops glisten,

And children listen

To hear sleigh bells in the snow.

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

With every Christmas card I write.

May your days be merry and bright.

And may all your Christmases be white.

Take care and enjoy one of my faves!!!

Love and God Bless you all!

Wendy

Just hello....

2008-12-01T07:14:00.000-08:00

Hi just wanted let every one know I have been thinking and praying for you all! Even if I don't know any of you that read this! Church was great today! I got to play with the little ones for the second service!! I got HUGS Gaaaaaalore!!!! And a kiss! Starting tomorrow I am going to share my 25 days of Christmas with special Christmas songs that mean something to me! Not all are christian songs....They all have a reason...hopefully I will be diligent enough to write EVERY DAY!!! I will be at Sandy's for the next week while Justin is Skiing in California with some friends! YEAH!!!!!....Sister time!! in the process I will have the use of her car to look for jobs! PLEASE PRAY FOR A JOB!!!
Love you all!!! Wendy

Wendy's 100....

2008-11-28T11:06:00.000-08:00

What I am THANKFUL FOR!!! not just today but EVERYDAY!

1 My salvation
2 Chris' salvation
3 My family (ALL OF THEM)
4 My struggles
5 My freedom to worship GOD in public
6 The military
7 MY Gramma and Grampa Culbertson
8 My friends;old and new
9 My sister
10 Chocolate
11 Gods nature
12 Gods nurture
13 Gods LOVE
14 Gods forgiveness
15 marrying my ex husband...I have become a srtonger woman because of my situations with him
16 my car accident
17 my dad passing away....because of his alcohalism my ex husband finaly became sober! Also after telling a friend of Chris and mine about how my daddy died, he quit using pain killers(300 dollar a week habbit) but in no way am I thankful he physically died The lord knows and everyone else does to know how much I miss him and not having him here or up in washington for the holidays is gonna be rough!
18 After almost 5 weeks I finall talked to my mom!
19 Chris...There are sooo many things that I am thankful for because of him!
20 My Church back home in Washington...I miss you all SOOOOOOO very much!
21 My Church here in Central Oregon
22 football...THe seahawks tried....GO GIANTS!
23 Camping
24 fishing
25 snow
26 turning 30!!! That was THE best day of my 2008 year!!!
27 Music
28 Nascar
29 my education and the continuation of learning
30 My dog...he is such an awesome companion
31 my new family here in Central Oregon
32 LOVE...Being in Love and loving people and people loving you back is such a great feeling.
33 my health
34 that I am able to do all things thru Christ! and understand it too
35 being able to witness to others freely
36 getting letters in the mail from my gramma
37 the smell of fall
38 the mountains
39 The fact that life is NOT EASY!!!
40 my Bible
41 My Auntie Kim and Uncle Steve....My other parents who have and will always be there for me and Sandy
42 Children...They can take you away to far off places just having a conversation with them! They are sooo much fun!
43 tattoos
44 softball
45 not shopping on black friday...
46 I have a home
47 I have a use of a vehical
48 those that have helped me out since I haven't had a job
49 X-Box Guitar Hero...New found addiction :)
50 taking my dogs for walks with Chris in the snow at night!
51 my FREEDOM!!!
52 That God Protects us
53 That God punishes us too
54 my John McArthur devotional book...I finally got it!
55 studying Gods word with Chris
56 smiles

OK so I thought I could come up with a 100 things I am thankful for and will continue it as they all come to me!
Just know that I am a very thankful and feel so blessed to have you all that read that have been a part of my whole or most of my life! I love you all so much! I miss you all as well and can't wait to see you all too!
Love you all
Wendy

OK Post 100 will be tomorrow this is post 101! :)

2008-11-27T16:40:00.001-08:00

Just want to wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving being with your family or friends! Here is a Turkey day joke!

Q.) What do you get when you cross a banjo with a turkey?

A.) A bird that plucks it self!

Here is something I would be listening too with my dad! This has been a Turkey day Tradition dating as long as I can remember!

Alice's Restaurant:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8DtpdXZi0M

God Bless and love to you all
Wendy

Thanksgiving poem

2008-11-26T14:27:00.000-08:00

I love poetry and sometimes write it too. But for some reason I couldn't find the words to put to paper. As the Holidays come this season I have a heavy heart! And so finding joy reading other peoples poetry has made me smile and reminisce the past years of happy togetherness. This was a poem I found on www.all poetry.com

Hope you enjoy it!

Blessed Harvest

Bountiful harvest we give thanks

Let families gather once more

Eat and converse round the table

Stuffing and roast turkey galore

Sisters brothers uncles and aunts

Everyone full of holiday cheer

Decanter of white wine mellow

Hearth and home we gather near

A room full of smiles and laughter

Reminiscing of what use to be

Vehement and lively discussions

Embracing the loved ones we see

Saying a prayer for our blessing

Thankful for friends and family

Tomorrow will be my 100th blogg! Whoa nelly!! :)

Upate...

2008-11-25T15:51:00.000-08:00

So Ryan(my cousin) went thru over 8 hours of surgery. It ends up that he had 4 compound fractures and at the end the bone was crushed which they put back together! He should have full recovery with time and PT!! The circulation ordeal should not be a problem either! YEAH!!!!

Today I went to my other cousin's to help her clean her house! She could use prayer too! She tore her bicep in the right arm and so she has no use of it! Vickie tries not to use conventional medicine! All Homiopathic stuff the more natural the better!

Lets see....Im gearing up for my 100 blogg hopefully will be on Turkey day!! Stay tuned!
Love you all!!!
Hugs and prayers
younger wendy :)

MAJOR PRAYER REQUEST!!!!

2008-11-24T10:27:00.000-08:00

I found out yesterday that my cousin Ryan back home in Washington got his hand stuck in a conveyor at work! He sustained 5 compound fractures from his forearm to his bicep, also there is comlications with circulation...There is a special word for it and it starts with a "C"...but anyways Please pray for Ryan and his wife Jaime. In an update this morning my aunt had said he was going in for surgery and that was around 7am! I have not heard from her yet as she does have the grandkids.

Friday I went into the Unemployment office and did the employment process they have there and was able to find three jobs to apply to! I say three because you are only allowed 3 job searches a day thru the unemployment office. So today I think I will go and get three more! It's exciting to see availible jobs!
Chris and I went fishing yesterday after Church. I caught a leaf and Chris caught a couple trout! We went for the evening bite and as soon as the sun goes down behind the canyon the fish start a jumpin!!! Even after dark they jump right in front of you especially when you are not in the water and fixing your line! The whole goal was Steelhead but non this time!

I recieved a CD from my gramma of my pastor back in washington's sermon and I want more! Sorry, I do get spiritual food from my pastor here but not like Ol' Rev back home!

Other than that Turkey day is coming soon and Chris and I will be with my sister and Justin and a good friend of ours Jessica! So it shall be fun!
LOVE TO YOU ALL
Wendy

Just another day!

2008-11-20T15:47:00.000-08:00

So I woke up today and felt kinda down in the dumps! This job search and no money for gas has really gotten the bestof me! Yeah I know I should not be anxious for tomorrow but there has to be a breaking point right? I was talking to my gramma yesterday and just to hear her voice made my day! I have for 30 short years been a big part of my grandparents lives and they always seem to just say the right things or send the right things! I recieved in the mail yesterday a CD of last weeks sermon from MY Church back home and haven't listen to it yet but will when I am done! She got it for me because of the choir which she told me that they were missing one person....I just had tears in my eyes!
Lately another struggle for me is my mom! I really don't know what else to say or do about her! I wrote her a letter that told her that I forgave her for all the things that has happened to me that she did and all the things she has said to me to hurt me! And I also asked her why my sister was never treated the way she treated me and she got out of that whole letter that I was jealous of my sister and that I thought of her as the golden child! She never calls me or emails me and just last sunday she called my sister...I haven't talked to her in about a month! I want to have a relationship with her but I just don't think that she wants one with me!
Who knows! I do love her and it is times like this that I WANT MY PAPPA BACK!!! Not a day goes by where I don't think of him! He is always on my mind and still can't believe he is gone!
So I guess this is a little depressing today! I hope I can get thru all this! I need my Free John McArthur devotional!!!!
Wendy

Hi Y'All

2008-11-17T21:36:00.000-08:00

HI there just wanted to say that I am doing ok except for the stress. I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a cold day here in the high desert....NOPE can we say Global Warming?? It was soooo abnormaly warm that it was kinda freakish thinking I could have worn shorts and a tank top today! I talked to my gramma today for a bit! She informed me of a shooting that involved my church back at home! She also told me she was thinking about going that night for gym night to help out! SCARY!!! But God knows our paths! The job search is getting really frustrating! I know that God has a job out there for me and I just need to wait for His timing. I am really not too happy with my Seahawks these days. I have become a Giants fan for the year! hmmmm Not a lot has happened since I last wrote!
take care love you all
wendy

This and That whats new here in Oregon

2008-11-12T10:07:00.000-08:00

I still have not found a job and I am really getting a little more each day worried! I have applications out EVERYWHERE and I call on them and at no prevail nothing! I NEED PRAYER FOR A JOB!!! PLEASE!!!

Other than that I have had a rough week, I have been not feeling very well due to no sleep. I missed Bible study today which I hate to do! :( I don't know if it is because I am stressed out not having a job and borrowing gas money from people...I have no more outlets to borrow.
I am excited to say that I am getting more involved with Church( a year later) I asked about being on the music team and with the holidays and what not the music pastor told me to wait till after the first of the year! I have started to go to ladies bible study! I have met some wonderful women there, Godly women!
I still however wish that the pastor could preach longer on his sermons and maybe it's because there are 3 services?? Who knows.
Sandy is doing good! Where I use to work and where she works still may be shutting their doors, thats why I don't have a job. But she told me that her and Justin will probably move sooner to Texas than April! We shall see! I will miss her A lot though!
Still no 20 feet of snow but a lot of wind today. Perfect steelhead fishing weather this past few weeks. No haven't gone but REALLY want to BAD!! I need to catch one on the fishing pole I got for my birthday from my daddy!
Over all I am ok and will be better when I get some work!
Love you all
Wendy

The Shack

2008-11-12T09:59:00.000-08:00

I just recenly finished the book "The Shack". It starts out a guy (mack) getting a letter from "papa" telling him to go to the shack, where a horrible thing happened 3 years prior. Mack took 3 of his kids on a camping trip in Eastern Oregon out by Joseph and one of his kids is abducted and murdered. So he goes back to the place and he has this vision or something that I don't know to believe or even think that this is docturnally sound. He does go bak too the shack and Papa(God) dressed and named as a woman, Jesus and the Holy Spirit were all there answering and talking to Mack and taking him on outings and adventures. Honestly I felt a little creeped out and not sure of it all. I know that God reveals Himself to us but the descriptions and the stuff in this book felt weird! If anyone has read this please tell me what you think! It is based on a true story as well.

Voter's Prayer...

2008-11-04T09:48:00.000-08:00

Lord you have had the plans of this world before we were ever breathed into exsistance! Today is all in your hands in the reguards of the new leader you have chosen for us! Keep us in your protection thru all that is to come! Lord you are the the only ruler of all! Protect those that are in our military fighting for our freedoms and our rights. Lord with all the things on the ballots I ask so boldly that you strike down all the wrong and grothesque causes!
Let the world go to you for guidence in decisions that they need to make. Thank you Lord for your unfailing love. Bless this nation with all your love as well!
Thank you Father!
Amen

May you all keep today in prayer for our new President!
wendy

I need HELP!!! BAD!!!

2008-11-03T15:59:00.000-08:00

So in the recent days I have been going back and forth with my future Mother in Love about a subject that I cannot back because of lack of knowlede and where to find it in the Bible! She keeps telling me that GOD DOES NOT PUNISH! And that EVERYONE goes to Heaven! And now the new one is that The Trinity are not ONE! Also she keeps telling me there is no Hell!!! When ever she brings this up I clam up and just tell her rather than saying the wrong thing I would rather just drop the subject! But now she has brought it up again and so this is where I need HELP...Pastor Frank, Wendy, Amy, Ryan????....
I know that if we are in God's will and that if we keep doing the things that Glorify Him, He continualy blesses us but it's when we know that we are Child of God and keep on sinning He does swat us...Right???
You would think that after all these years of being in the best Church EVER that I would know all this! If it is easier email me at wendygurl1978@gmail.com
Love to you all
Wendy

Halloween

2008-10-31T11:19:00.000-07:00

HMMMM not sure what to say but that today I wish I was a kid so I can get FREE candy!!! HEHEHEHEHE!!! Anyways I was just thinking about all the years my sister and I would go Trick or Treating and one year my gramma Dollie made Witche's Brew...don't know what it was made with but I remember she had the apartment decorated and green lights in the lamps and her big pan of witche's brew! Or many times I would go out with my cousins and then we would come back home and inspect our candy for poison pieces of candy. Luckily I never had apples with razor blades! Although my favorite memories are of the Harvest party my Church back home put on! LOTS of games and LOTS...TONS of candy to make a mom run for the hills after her kids have eaten a lot! But now Im 30 and I can't go trick or treating! I guess thats a good thing! Candy isn't really good for me anyways so I guess the thought is always fun!

Book review!!

2008-10-30T10:52:00.000-07:00

So I have been reading some books! GOOD books! I just finished, well a couple of weeks ago, the book "The Secret Life of Bees"! I LOVED IT! First of all I didn't want to put it down and it was a fast read to take a person back in time and get lost for a day or two. It was about a young girl who lost her mom in a freak accident and yes I feel the way the mom died was a freak accident. But the young girl and her "nanny" skip town and the adventure begins. Lily finds a picture with writing on the back in the attic of a place and so she sets out and leaves her town. I was drawn in from the start and finished the book in no more than 8 hours! Lily(the main charactor) does not have a strong relationship with her dad and I felt like she was me, I don't have a strong relationship with my mom. I think that by reading it helped me deal with the issues I have with my mom. But other than that it was a great book! Grab hot chocolate and a blanket and just relax.

The new one I am reading is called "The Shack". It is written by a friend of the subject of the story. It is a true story based here in Oregon. And by the way things are going in the story the main charactor(Mack) is dealing with his walk with God and his lack of faith in him after loosing one of his children in a brutal kidnapping and murder. Mack returns to the crime scene 3 years later and has an experience that is amazing to read....Im not done but when I finish I will let you all know about it!

MY MASTER

2008-10-28T09:34:00.000-07:00

Why is it when the money is gone and life seems going down a downward spiral and all you do is sink into a hole and don't leave? I have not had any luck finding a job and sometimes I feel like I am a slave of money that my master is my self trying to live and right now it obviously isn't working! Then I read a verse today:
Romans 14:7~8
None of us lives as our own master and none of us dies as our own master. While we live we are responsible to the Lord, and when we die we dia as Christ's servants. Both in life and death WE are the LORDS.

I think that I have figured out why I really haven't gotten a job....maybe because I wasn't GIVING IT ALL TO GOD like I thought I was but now after reading this verse I feel that God is telling me that He is the only one that I have to please and that EVERYTHING I do is in his name. I pray daily for God to help me find work but my heart attitude probably wasn't right. My worries were paying bills and putting gas in my car, or wanting to go and buy some new clothes since the weather is getting colder. And I have been trying to rely on ME not God! Im not my own Master and thankfuly so because I have not been pleased with my self and if a master is not pleased with his or her servant then there are consequences...Right??? Hence no job.
I was soooo bummed last weekend, that I wanted to come home because I knew I could have my job back at the deli or at the parks and rec department for Auburn. But then that just shows that I was running away from my problems rather than facing them strait down the barrel. I need Prayer I need it for 1. a job 2. that I just TRUST THE LORDS TIMING! 3. that I have peace.
Wendy

Today was a GREAT day!

2008-10-22T14:34:00.000-07:00

For once in about a week I really felt GREAT and HAPPY! First it started that I had my dentist appointment! And boy did I wish I had some seditives or something to calm my anxiety! But I just prayed and prayed and prayed. At first Chris was gonna go with me to just be ther for me then early this morning he got a phone call from a friend who had some work he needed help with so he felt bad that I was going a lone but reassured me that Dr. Allen is a wonderful man and a Christian! And that he won't hurt me! And he pointed out to me since we need the extra income that it would be good for him to go do this! It may turn into some extra work we have been praying for thru the local Habbitat for Humanity. It doesn't pay much but it helps those trying to get into their first home. And to him thats what matters! So I had to put my selfishness aside and go by my self! I got to the dentist and I was in and out with in 25 mins. AND IT DIDN'T HURT!!! THANK YOU LORD! Then I went all over Prineville(locals call it tweakerville due to all the meth problems there) and filled out applications for jobs! I was successful in filling out 4 applications and felt good doing it! Then I came home and the house was empty so I sat and caught up on at least one of my good...wait I take that back...one of my longest and bestest friends blog(yes Aim Im talking about yours)Blog...God made playdough! And just read and was ministered to! THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH AMY LOU!!! Your Girls are soooo BEAUTIFUL~ Butterflies don't hurt people like spiders! And then being home alone I got on the phone and called my Gramma Dollie~my hero, best friend, and mentor! We chatted ok she chatted but I just listen to her like there was no end and I didn't want to get of the phone but the cordless phone battery was dying! but we talked for at least an hour and a half! It was wonderful it made my day! So that sums most of it all up today and will try more tomorrow!
Love you all
W

How to convey my true feelings!

2008-10-19T09:59:00.000-07:00

I have had the the hardest 3 days this past week! Friday early morning I woke up with a raging headache and threw up and was ill feeling the rest of the day along with saturday! On top of it all I was rejected at Target and that just made life even more upsetting since I have bills piling up and no revenue to take care of it all! AND IM NOT ASKING FOR HELP!!!! Right now the job circut is just a huge void in this area unless if you want to work for Ronald McDonald! And frankly I don't think having a clown for a boss would suit me!

On top of all this I have been REALLY MISSING MY DAD! At time I can't hardly stand it! I just keep it all to my self and then explode in tears! I hear songs and see things and just wish I had just one more minute! But I do know that God knows the time and day we leave this world and we can't controll that at all! I know my life or this world doesn't revolve around my dad but yet I feel the constant pain of not being able to talk to him! Or to send him pictures he would gloat about or make him come down here to visit! All this and with the Holidays around the corner doesn't help! At times my thoughts are just thoughts and I can never really get out what I want to say! I know that God is throwing this hurdle at me! Why??? I don't know. Church today was missionaries so I really didn't get any spiritual food! I am sooo waiting for my John McArther devotional book!
these are just whats going on inmy crazey brain!
Wendy

OK

2008-10-16T20:48:00.001-07:00

So in my last blog I was REALLY bummed! It seemed that I would write an email to someone or something and never got replies until 2 weeks or so later! Hence the reason I was thinking about given up my blog! The past 3 weeks have been really hard on me due to not having a job! I lost my job working with Sandy because of sales not being where they need to be and so the owner had to step up and get rid of some costs! I understand but I found out the day after I came back from camping a week and so I barely had a paycheck and my cleaning job is dwindling down for the winter season! So I have been mad dashing all over central Oregon looking for any job I can find! I did have an interview with Target the other day and I think I will call them tomorrow!
Other than that I am still here and loving it A LOT! I have been going to bend 2 times a week for Physical Therapy which I am finding VERY beneficial! I feel better than I did when I was seeing my other PT! These people I see have been the most nicest and caring set of Physical Therapist I have ever encountered! My doctor also sent me home a prescription for 8 sessions of full body massage since the deep tissue I get has been helping on my neck and shoulder muscles! I went steel head fishing in September and no luck! We got skunked! Oh well!
I have been doing a little wedding planning though! We decided to have a small ceremony here at Chris' parents house and not be such a big ordeal! I really don't want a big wedding and neither does he but his mom expressed she wants to be there when we tie the knot!! So sorry if you cant attend! I would have every one there! I got Sandy to commit to catering dinner! She has quite the knack for cooking! And our wedding cake is going to be CHOCOLATE!!!! At Fred meyers they have a chocolate cake that is 4 layers high and in the middle has chocolate fudge and the icing is a chocolate G-nosh(can't spell what I want to say) say the "G" like you were going to say "gun". And then they will put the red roses on it for me! 20 bucks for a wedding cake! We are going to write our own Vows which was Chris' Idea! HMMMM lets see....and since we both LOVE M&M's we are gonna get some personalized! I could go on and on but don't want to bore you! My Divorce should be finalized here in a couple weeks which I can't wait!
I would add recent pictures but I can't upload on the computer here because it is the old school dial up and it takes a million years to up load so when I go to the Library next time I will add some pictures!
I am having a hard time with the holidays around the corner and not having my daddy around! I keep on thinking that he is still here and that I am just asleep and I will wake up and he will be here! The hardest thing for me to deal with is that he won't be here to give me away to Chris! If my Aunt and Uncle come down then my uncle will give me away! but still it won't be the same! I talk to my mom at least once a week but they are short conversations! I do call my gramma more often then my mom though! and now her Email is up I can write her more often! And occasionally snail mail too! Lately I have gotten into snail mail letters I love getting mail and love sending it too! I think I am caught up! Thank you for reassuring me I still have "fans" in the blogging world! I love you all and will try to keep up on this thing!
wendy

Does anybody read my blog anymore??

2008-10-03T09:33:00.001-07:00

I sometimes think I want to keep blogging but it just doesn't seem to me that no body reads! At times I write stuff and want opinions and never get them so I may stop blogging! you can email me if you want to know whats up!
wendygurl1978@gmail.com
Wendy

Have you ever???

2008-10-01T13:20:00.000-07:00

Have you ever LOVED some one that you wished that time just stood still forever? I truely have found that person! HE is soooo loving and caring and he just makes me feel loved! My days of wondering if love and trust were ever going to happen ended! I read a quote that said: "Don't marry someone you can live with but marry someone you can't live without" When I come home from work he is there to ask me how my day was, to listen to my rants and raves, he protects me by carring for my needs in all aspects of life! He is the most respectful person I know. He has taught me new things about fishing and life! I LOVE CHRIS SOOOO MUCH! I am blessed to have him in my life and to share my spirituality with! God has His reason's for why we go thru the things we go thru and I am Thanking him everyday that He brought me to the place I am today!

MY MYSPACE FRIENDS...

2008-09-28T18:11:00.000-07:00

If you are wondering I have reduced my friends on myspace to just my ex husband only due to the reason I can only get a hold of him thru that avenue and that I am no longer his comic wife as I am now just a single woman! I am still engaged but my myspace name is comicwife and it does not fit me any more. Also I will not have another one. I am however on facebook and here!
Thanks for understanding!
Wendy

I am soooo DISCUSTED!!!

2008-09-12T11:13:00.000-07:00

I have never really liked it when the elections for presidents have come around, and it seems as though this year is worse then the last elections! I am sooo bummed that these people who want us to pick them as president yet say that they are Christians and they have Christian morals and values sit back and dismantel every thing their apponets stand for or don't. I don't belive in hurting anothers integreity to get to where I want and it makes me sick to see what I have for presidential options. I don't want McCain because if he becomes president then a woman becomes his VP and if something were to happen to him....SHE becomes president! Doesn't GOD tell us that a woman should not be instructors ove men???? And I don't want Obama because he just gives me the creeps! I don't see how this world is thinking....

PLEASE PRAY!!!!!!!

2008-09-12T11:07:00.000-07:00

At this time I am not sure of the full details....

Jasons gramma is in the final stages of her colon cancer and now is in the hospital and has been for almost 2 weeks. I haven't gotten a recent update but I know the family is having a hard time. Jason has been taking care of his mom's daily needs and as well has his gramma before she went onto the hospital and he is really weary! His mom has him taking her to doctor appointments she doesn't have. Please keep them in your prayers as they need it! They all need prayer for Salvation and comfort! none of the family is saved....At least no prfession of faith that I know of!
Thanks

What I have become

2008-08-25T22:16:00.001-07:00

I have been not sure of how I feel these days! I have AWESOME days and then I have ok days and just a lot of blah, confused, unsure ect...days! I sometimes think that I need to wipe out my old life and just start a new one. I feel so unattatched from my mom and wonder if I will ever have a relationship with her. I am in constant pain because of my stupid car accident. I am not divorced yet like I wanted to be because I have to have my papers notorized which i didn't know about. I have not been able to get any finacial help from my ex husband because he is a stand up comedian and hasn't figured out that after 14 years he isnt famous. Im not asking for handouts or help I am just venting because I can get out what I want to say in writing rather than talking...
BUT even though I feel this way I wouldn't change a single choice I have made, or the jobs I have worked or the people I have married or dated. I can say one thing that I have to go to church. I haven't gone in 2 weeks and I can tell. Chris can tell too! I am blessed he encourages me and us to go to church and to sit and do devotions in the morning and to pray together! Its awesome!

Wendy

The Olympics

2008-08-15T11:22:00.001-07:00

I am soooo addicted to the Olympics and everything about them! No I don't miss work or Church or things I need to do in the day just to watch them. But I am amazed of how much these athletes do! I was watching "Today" and they were talking about how much Michael Phelps eats for breakfast...like 2000 calories in one sitting. Thats more than I am supose to eat in a day acording to my doctors. They need all that for just pure burnable energy!
I sit in awe when I see the gymnastics events and am just amazed how these people can just twist and turn in ways I can't and probably will never get the chance to do. I see how most of these athletes become role models for our younger generation and maybe the older ones as well.

My Boys

2008-08-14T16:49:00.000-07:00

These are some fun pictures of my two boys! The first one is Milo and Gizzmo doing what they do best....SLEEP!!

The second, third and fourth are pictures of Gizzmo in the "cat" house by Chris' wood shop.

And this is my Big baby Milo! He just had his 9th Birthday on August 4th!

Oooooppsss I did it again..... :)

2008-08-08T12:05:00.000-07:00

I got another tattoo......Yes it is a butterfly but it is morphed into an elephant head. It's kool I think :) It kinda hurt but not bad. It is on the back of my right leg on the calf. There is something about getting ink done that is theraputic. Every tattoo I have on me is for the important people of my life. I guess my way of honoring them. I will post pictures soon...slow computer that doesn't like to download pictures! :(
love you all
me

Coffee Talk...

2008-08-07T09:04:00.000-07:00

So today Im just gonna ramble. I woke to the sounds of ground shaking loud thunder and my dog licking my face profusely! So I got up and made some coffee and sat in the living room with a family friend and watched the lightning and chatted. I had a great day yesterday...an unplanned GREAT day! Chris and I were doing our monthly chore of cans(here in Oregon you can recycle and get 5 cents per can)(good gas money) and got a phone call from his mom. She wanted to know where we were at and asked us if we could meet her at Fred Meyers and since it was Bobs bday(Chris' stepdad who is also called poppa) and we were cooking dinner for him we thought she wanted us to help shop....Well when we got there she had already did the shopping and she leaned over to whisper in Chris' ear and then told me to go get my engagement ring. So I finally got my ring !!! I have never been soooooooo excited and I just felt like now it is for real! I read a quote that said "Don't marry someone you can live with, marry someone you can't live with out!"
I have truely found that someone!!!! I know I have said this about Jason but I was young and rebelling and was just trying to escape. I moved here to Oregon to get a fresh new start on life and had no intentions of staying here longer than 3 or 4 months. After realizing that I felt healthy and HAPPY being here I decided to stay for a longer period of time. So I moved my stuff and myself to my cousins in Powell Butte and lived there for a little bit and was hanging out fishing and walking the dogs with my neighbor Chris. We became good friends and learned more and more about each other and found we have a lot in common and that we have the same goal of simplicity. We then started to fall for each other and again I HAD MY GUARDS UP REALLY HIGH!!!! I was a little brat sometimes as he was too at times! But once we sat down and discussed how we felt, we released the walls and became closer than ever. We both have a strong LOVE for the Lord more and more each day and we both are learning together.
I Truely with out a doubt believe that God gives us things and conflicts and hurdles to make us stronger but also to bring us back to him. Im praising God daily for my tribulations and my many Joys!
Wendy

DATING?!!???!!!?

2008-08-04T12:14:00.000-07:00

Is this really suppose to happen this soon after your husbands death??? My mom has informed me that she has gone on a few dates with different men...I feel a little angry of the disrespect that she has shown towards my dad in life and death and now this is just another chapter in the book. Sandy sees it as it could be a blessing in disquise and that maybe this dude doesn't drink as much as she does and could be a good thing. Maybe she will cut back on drinking. But then again as I was talking with her last nite she was drunk and I couldn't stand to be on the phone with her.

Other news in my life....I had my MRI and my bones looked normal soooooo now I get to see a Chronic Pain Specialist! Oh YEAH!!! The pain I feel is intensly irritating! I wake up in the morning in pain go thru the day in pain and then by the evening is around I feel ok and then when it is time to settle down then the circle starts over! So the doc said that my pain is in my muscles.
wendy

Life is GRAND!

2008-07-27T15:06:00.000-07:00

I love life I am happy and in control of what I can control! just thought I let you all know!
wendy

The good that came out of my dad's death...

2008-07-26T09:51:00.000-07:00

So I recieved an email from my ex husband this morning. He was asking how I was doing and what not and proceeded to tell me that I was in his thoughts lately. He kept telling me how my dads death had affected him a great deal and that he has started to go to AA. He now is doing comedy sober and also is drug free he told me for the last 11 days!
Not once in our marriage did anything scare him tomake him want to change. I am prouod of the accomplishment he has made to not end up the same way my dad or his BIOLOGICAL dad did.
Now the next prayer is that he makes a commitment to the LORD! He is a great person down deep and just pray that he finds Gods peace in his life! I know that when the day comes when his mom passes away that he will be a wreck and I hope and pray that he is emotionaly stable and sober to deal with it all.
Wendy

Yup

2008-07-25T09:30:00.000-07:00

So I talked to my mom yesterday and for some reason I don't feel close to her anymore...I found myself fishing around for things to say and nothing came to mind. I told her about my garden(which is doing great!) and asked her about the L&I thing if she has gotten a hold of anyone yet. and after 13 mins of almost wasted time on our cell phones I told her I had to go. I knew I never really had a close relationship with her but sometimes like now I wish that I could talk to her but I just cant. I need prayer in this part of my life because I fell like I don't have any parent anymore. I feel abandon.

The Secret????

2008-07-24T10:18:00.000-07:00

I have come across a movie called "The Secret". What is the secrect you may ask?? As far as I can gather it is the law of attraction. Not just people but things as well. You are to have a higher power...DUH and you are suppose to think about positive things and they will attract to you! So I was thinking that if I put my TRUST in my Higher Power(GOD) I will attract what I need in my life not my wants because my wants are not all that God wants me to have right now or maybe never. Who knows. I am really not sure about this movie I haven't watched it all but it is also a book. One of the contributors is Jack Canfield, the guy who wrote the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" books.
I would like some feedback on this book if anyone knows.

Other stuff I saw the doctor dude and he is trying to get me approved to have an MRI done on my neck and shoulders so I am waiting. The hurry up and wait period of my life! It is amazing how one person can endure annoying pain for a long period of time! I was the slacker but I also didn't want to have to continue doctor care. I did switch doctors though because I felt the other doctor I had didn't address other things I was complaining about. I sometimes think that he was just working for workmans comp than for me as the patient. They don't like to keep claims open.
I will be getting my fishing blog going here soon I hope...
Take care miss all of you
wendy

New Monday rituals!

2008-07-20T15:53:00.000-07:00

So I work with my sister and my boss is a new christian and she and another Wendy(awesome name) are starting a bible study in the mornings. She told me that its gonna be in the book of Romans! I am sooooo STOAKED!!!! I love Romans...Ok I love the whole Bible.
On tuesday I am going to see a Doctor reguarding my car accident back in September. I am having a hard time getting out of bed in the mornings because I am in sooooo much pain in my neck and Shoulder region. Of course this happens after my claim is closed. Just pray that I can get this all done and over with and to be able to put it behind me.
Love
Wendy

I dont know....

2008-07-18T13:26:00.000-07:00

I miss him soooo much! Last night I was on my way home from fishing(the evening bite) and I just started to cry! I was thinking about my dad and how he was the one who barely caught the fish with him and my Uncle Chuck. I wanted to call and talk to him and tell him that my new fishing pole doesnt work....it doesn't catch fish! I have gone out 3 times since I got it and no fish! NONE!!! Or like the other day while walking tru the garden Chris and I planted and noticing the new growth on our crop and how I wanted to gloat to tell him I got tomatoes. I just seem to not want to believe he is not there anymore that he is now just mere ashes.

This and that!

2008-07-16T09:30:00.000-07:00

So on Monday Chris and I went fishing with Sandy and Justin in the almighty Deschutes river! Oh it was sooooo much fun! Didn't catch anything but my sister! (will explain) But the day started at 4:30 for me. We all drive about 45 mins or so north of Crooked River Ranch to a campground called Trout Creek. The boys definetly had a silent mission...catch more than the other, where as Sandy and I just fished. We all kinda split up and I hung out with my little sis. I felt sooo happy that I was actually showing my little sister how to do something and guiding her as much as I could. Growing up this would have never happenend! I am soo blessed to have Sandy for my sister! God always seems to amaze me daily!
But anyways, Sandy and I found "the spot" not "THE spot" but our spot! The river was flowing and not so very deep and yet some how after your legs become numb you can still walk! We found a couple of rocks, Sandy's was a couple inches submerged in the river where mine was sticking out of the water. We both just said no worries about getting wet and fished! It would have been a classic picture of the two of us sittin in the water fishin!
After a while and 3 snags on each other we decided to go find the boys. I clipped our lines and tied some knots and got off my rock, and for some reason this sort of thing ALWAYS happens when you are sooooooo close to the shoreline; I fell in! I knew I was done for the day! And it felt really good because the sun was so HOT!!!!!
The next day at work I saw Sandy and she had racoon eyes and a red face! I did offer some sun screen but she declined! Maybe it was the big sister thing? I will never know~
Pictures soon to follow
Wendy

10 Years

2008-07-12T09:54:00.000-07:00

So yesterday would or still kinda is my 10 year wedding anniversary. I honestly thought Iwould have been emotionally crazey with all the events in the last 20 days(since my bday). But I have to say that day doesn't mean anything to me any more! Don't get me wrong there were great days and I will always remember them but trying to forget the bad ones is what I am trying to do. Only time!!!!
I was asked last night if I had any regrets in my life. I said "no". I am a FIRM believer that we are given situations for a reason and sometimes things have to be hard to get to the point we need to be. At this point I am VERY HAPPY!!! Not depressed like I was a year ago. I am doing things that I LOVE to do.
Its funny 10 years ago on July 11th I couldn't wait to be Mrs. Jason Stewart, now I can't wait till my name changes back to Ms. Wendy Marie Culbertson.
I feel privaledged that my dad was able to walk me down the aisle and give me away.
But I am moving on to bigger and better things! I will be soon having another blog. It's gonna be fishing diaries!!! With pictures!(im still keeping this one)
Love you all
Wendy

Its kinda weird

2008-07-08T08:56:00.000-07:00

I thought that life stood still when I lost my grampa Bob 6 years ago, but now with only a week and a couple days of not having my dad call me to tell me a stupid joke or to rant about something or just to talk has been REALLY WEIRD!!!! Or vice versa me wanting to call him and tell him things like the other day Chris and I went fishing and I used the fishing pole I bought with my Bday money from my parents and that I didn't catch anything...Oh but Chris caught 5 trout, and that as I was putting some worms in a cool place I was actually laying them down on a baby rattle snake!!!! Yeah just a little creepy! I feel a void. I know I have to move on and keep going like every other thing I have had to endure.
My mom called me and told me that she went and picked up his remains the other day! My dad wanted to be cremated and his ashed spread on lake Kapowsin! We always went there to go fishing. Dad always went to a certain spot and we would have fried chicken or ham and cheese sandwiches and WD40! (it helped attract the fish) I haven't been there for about 20 years! WOW I am getting older! Yikes!!!! :)
I just pray that my mom doesn't sink into a depression like my dad. She was hiding bottles of vodka when Sandy and I were home and I was furious the whole time I was home. I understand that she was grieving but she also knew that Sandy and I HATE it when her and dad were drinking non stop like they do! I just don't want to have to go thru all this stuff sooner than later! I know that my mom has a chance! I want to build a relationship with her but I feel she keeps pushing me away more and more.
See ya
wendy

Reflecting

2008-07-02T09:22:00.000-07:00

I am going to miss you Pappa! I love you and will always love you!!!! You are my hero and bestfriend! Love you! Pooh

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!!!!

2008-07-01T02:19:00.000-07:00

To day is my little boy...Gizzmo's 1st BIRTHDAY!!!!

I miss you little boy and Milo and Daddy!!!!

Some times....

2008-07-01T00:55:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I just want to SCREAM out! I said goodbye to my dad today. He actually looked good, he had some color and he also kinda had a goofy smirk on his face! Thats my dad! Today Sandy and I put our foot down and refused to buy my mom any booze! On our way out the door my mom asked if we could pick up a 6pak...and I said what of???...Coca cola??? then she said no bud select(her fave beer) Then I said oh you mean O'doules! Then Sandy and I walked out the door! When we came back we were empty handed and I explained that we WILL NOT buy alcohal and that we are not going to enable her to kill her self with booze like dad did! I can't and won't!

Last nite Sandy and I found not only moms wacky juice stash but also my dad's reserves as well. 2 fifths of GIN, 2 fifth of bottom shelf vodka, 1 fifth of PATRONE Tequilla! And I also had found perscriptions that are some how missing! My sister and I are just LIVID! Don't get me wrong, my dad was a great man he just didn't grow up in some area's in his life! We both at times feel like why are we going the extra mile to make his life look great?? There were GREAT times in our lives but a lot of the memories had some kind of alcohal or drinking! I tried a sip of wine at my aunt and uncles tonite and I couldn't handle the taste. I love to sip on a glass of wine with a meal once in a blue moon but we both just felt ill! I don't think I will ever put a sip in my mouth again!!!! Like I said I just want to SCREAM REALLLLLLLLLLY LOUD!!!!! and at my mom! We have been home for one hour and she is already drunk. I have to let her grieve I know, but it's hard when this will just be repeated in the future! And when that time comes who knows what will happen?? I want to be in my home! I want my boys...Milo and Gizzmo! I want to be near Chris for comfort! I miss my Church in Oregon(not that I don't miss MY CHURCH in WA!!!) I am blessed all around and I just want to be back in my happy place! I have learned I don't like to get out of my daily routines very often. I have learned that not having all that I want right now is not a need but a WANT and that I can wait!!! I learned that you can't discuss funeral decisions with a drunk person. I also learned that you love them even more and hurt for them more because they can't use self control in their lives. The excesiveness of the abuse bantering back and forth. I LOVE being happy!
wendy

Better late than never...

2008-06-30T03:10:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures from my birthday outing with Chris!! It is soooo amazing how powerful God is. How in one moment He breathes life into a new growing baby and also created the mountains and waterfalls. Such beauty He brings into our lives! And living in Central Oregon shows A LOT of proof of His wondrous beauty!

wendy

I said Yes!

More brain ramblings

2008-06-29T09:54:00.000-07:00

Where to start what to say how to feel.........it feels like time has stood still and I am stuck in this moment that I can't get out of! When life hands you a fastball and you don't know when to swing there is that thought could that have been the homerun or just another strike? Today at Church I was reminded by the outpouring of love and concern that when we are grieving that God is there to take care of us and that He is there ALL the time and He places the right people in our lives for comfort. He also instructs us to just lean on Him at ALL times.

My devotions for the day was Psalms 31:
In you O Lord I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame; deliver me in your righteousness. Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue; be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me. Since YOU are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me!!! (verse 5) Into your hands I commit my spirit...verse 7...I will be glad and rejoice in your love for you saw (and still see) my affliction and know the anguish of my soul.(verse 14) But I trust in you , O Lord "YOU ARE MY GOD!!" My TIMES are in your hands!

And the last verse....
Verse 24: Be strong and take heart all of us who have hope in the Lord!!!

Some times I wonder if one person could be strong when it feels like the world is on a downward spiral. Thus far I sometimes think I am doing ok but then I feel at times that I am all fallen part. I feel the seams ripping apart. I am so blessed to be surrounded by my Church family who has always been around for me and my family. Ill write more later
wendy

MY PAPPA!!!!!

2008-06-28T21:23:00.000-07:00

I don't know where to start or what to say or how to think right now~

At 12:43 am I got a phone call from my sister telling me that dad had died! NO I kept saying and to quit joking with me and oh your kidding! But in her voice I heard tears, tears I heard when my grampa died! I lost it!! I truely did! I was thankful that I had Chris right there to calm me down! But I have never cried so hard in my life. I don't think I actually hung up the phone with Sandy! Anyways after loosing it I thought that I must be in a DEEP DEEP DEEP R.E.M. stage of my beauty slumber! Not the case! Then it was reality!

What I am not sure of and am anxious to know is if he truely asked for forgiveness and if I will see my Pappa again in Heaven! That to me is the true reality of it all or the cold bowl of chille of life. So my hope is just that he cried out with his last breath! Yeah I am soooo bummed Im hurt and REALLY mad! I wish that I could just wake up! Daddy's are suppose to protect their little girls and teach them how to clean fish or just learn how to tie a hook and worm. He is suppose to hold you in his arms when you cry and are in pain. He is suppose to cheer you on at little league games and get all misty-eyed when you sing a song in front of him for the first time and how anytime I went out with my dad and mom to do karaoke I always had to sing the "Rose" for a nickle love song! Or he is suppose to cry when he gives his baby away or who would do anything for his daughter even wear a suit against his will for her special day. I have been lucky to have my daddy there for all my accomplishments and failures. I am just soo sadden that he only had 50 whole years and the best is yet to come! My dad never critisized any of my choices. He always supported my choices reguardless if they were good or bad...but I never made any bad choices! (Yes I feel pretty perfect) :)

I feel right now disconnected! Im in the computer room on the computer and my sister and mom are in the livingroom. I don't know what to do! I really never thought I would have to go thru this pain! I also when I was up here had a serious talk about life and death and to this day I knew he truely loved me, Sandy and mom. And we just talked as if nothing was wrong. I shared secrets with him that only a few people know. I told him that I was trying to stay married as long or longer then him and mom! And we just talked. He was MY BEST FRIEND!!!

And see what I don't get is that we sometimes overly abundantly love our people and yet sometimes I wonder if we as christians actually love our creator, our DADDY, our main person that over zealous love! And honestly the last few weeks thats where my focus wasn't. I still felt in the bottom of my heart I still needed to be here in Washington. And now I am here today and crying out for my own forgiveness for not showing the love I should have for my GOD~~

I don't regret the way my life has been! I am much happier in Oregon and am blessed to have found an AWESOME CHRISTIAN man who has helped me with my walk and who loves me, respects me, who treats me like a princess. I have known Chris for 9 months, becoming friends! Oh yeah and fishin buddies! ( I out fished him the first time we went fishin)

He has plans for the future and he wants me to be a part of it!

I wished that Chris would have met my dad but not all wishes come true~

Tomorrow is gonna be weird for me, I get to be at the most happiest place on earth...CHURCH!!!! But having to go over funneral plans for my dad, it just don't feel right...NUMB

I don't know what else to say or do so I think maybe I should go to bed so I can get up for church!

Wendy

Happy Fathers day!

2008-06-15T11:01:00.000-07:00

What a day to focus on our Heavenly Father! Of course our Earthly fathers deserve recognition, but if God never exsisted then we wouldn't have our Daddies, Uncles, Grampas, Pastors and every other inflentual man in our lives!
I am blessed to have wonderful men in my life who love me! And I love you all!
Wendy

Back in Oregon!

2008-06-12T13:01:00.000-07:00

After a 3 week long stay in Washington I am back in Oregon! After realizing that my dad DOES NOT want to fight for his life and the fact that my mom is who she is and talking to my pastor I am back where I am happy! Today is my dad's 50th birthday and that means 9 more days and I turn 30 and I am actually looking forward to start a new decade! A decade of happiness and me!
At this time in my life my focus is on healing my broken heart and spirit and grow in my Heavenly Father who I know does not torment me with drinking or health issues and who loves me for me and knows I was NOT a mistake!
My mom did apologize for the remark about me being the numbert 2 mistake but I still have harbored feelings from the past. How can some one apologize for something they were unaware of in the first place? Forgiving somebody who has always continued to hurt you is not an easy thing and truthfully I don't think I have forgiven my mom in my heart. I forgave her from the remark but not the rest of my life. I am bound and determined to make it thru life happy. I know life isn't always peachy but thats what the bumps in the raod are for just to make us keep focus that we are not perfect and that obsticals are for us to overcome!

On the lighter side of things...I went camping for a couple days and had a relaxing time with Gizzmo and Chris I caught my first bass...really little! And did some hiking by the Metolius River! We found some beautiful flowers and took pics of them! (will post later) This was Gizzmo's first camping adventure and I could not believe how tuckered out he was when we got home! What fun!
Love
Wendy

Pictures of Washington

2008-06-06T23:44:00.000-07:00

The Rain...

2008-06-06T15:03:00.000-07:00

I Love the rain! I really do! (yeah a true washingtonian) I love how at times we need it to wash all the pollen down the drains or add a little more drink to our plants. I also LOVE the way God uses His love to rain on us in the midst of trials and storms! This brings me back to my blog about praising Him in the storm and I am soo blessed to have those that Love me and pray for me! And those that trust God with all they have! What Godly exmaples! I love that when I feel like giving up He is there to pick me up and tell me to don't give up or how I know that if I need to cry He ALWAYS sends some one for me to use their shoulder to cry on. As I make this new chapter of my life better, I will never look back on my life as regretful just as some stuff I have overcame! It is a great feeling when you know that the huge hurdles we face are not that huge to God and thats why we can always fall back on His undying love and comfort!
I have become more dependant on God in the last year. I also have become more accountable to myself as well!
I will write more often now I promise and add pictures too, I love all of you! You are all my Brothers and Sisters in Christ and am THANKFUL for you all!
Wendy

Just stuff!

2008-05-31T19:00:00.000-07:00

So I have officially been here in Washington for 2 weeks and want to go back home SOOOOOOO BAD!!! I feel that me being here has done nothing for the care of my dad but to enable him to continue to kill himself in front of me.
This past weekend(june 1) I was sitting with my family for dinner(mom dad sis bro and gram)out of the six of us only 2 were drunk and ill let you guess....YUP my mom and Gramma...ok just kidding but seriously my parents! Just toasted up on Vodka and wine and maybe some beer! But as we wer sitting down to eat, my mom during her drunken ramblings and audacious comments she proceeds to inform me that I was the # 1 mistake...then retracted and said I was actually the #2 mistake. Now a lot of emotion went thru my body and words I so don't even dare say or think came boiling up my tongue. I just sat there in pure awe, thinking that my thoughts of her resenting me were not a lie.
So that was the decision point of my stay her in Washington. Then I had met with my pastor with my sister and even helped me feel better about my decision. I am SOOO HAPPY in Oregon! I have had some hang ups since being there but over all I was and am able to overcome anything by putting my trust in Christ that he is still there for me even if I don't go to Valley. Even if to my mom I was a mistake I know that to God I WAS ALWAYS PLANNED! I understand that my parents are probably never gonna change their ways but I do trust that God has a hand in all that happens in my life and both of theirs! Only He knows their true hearts! I know that I need to forgive my mom but it truely hurts especially when she hasn't apologized for any of the torment or anguish she put me thru!
I want God to use me in what ever way He has planned for me in the near future about my parents.
So then this brings me to my next venting point...My dad made an appointment to see his doctor for today June 5. Well yesterday he went to the store and said that "oh by the way the doctors office called to say that they had to reschedual his drs. appt!" So here I am Sherlock Holmes, doing some investigating and called the doctor to see if Dr was in the office(dad said the dr was out of town and that they forgot to mark it in his calender) and of course she said that the doc was in and that my dad did call yesterday to cancel but that the appointment was still open!
What a let down and horrible feeling of dissappointment! I now even more want to be back in Oregon! Sandy and I are just sick with not knowing what to do but just pray and leave!
I believe it is 1Peter 5:7 where it says "cast all your care upon Him because He cares for us"
Thats my fervant prayer and mindset that I just have to give it all up to him...ALL of it!
Wendy

Memorial's day...

2008-05-26T23:04:00.000-07:00

So today is Memorial day! And I am not a person who likes or wants to hear about any conflicts going on now or in the past. Not even if it was domestic or forgein(did I spell that right) I don't even understand why we are where we are with all our troops. But given the fact I have Military surrounding me I dedicate this Blog to all those that have been a part of out fight for freedom and everyone elses freedom! The picture is taken the memorial day after my grampa Bob passed away and I took gramma to the cemetary where he was buried! This is dedicated to all my friends and family that were in a war in one point of their lives! This is dedicated to those that yet have not made it to the war zone but are still state side protecting us or just training to protect! I hae the utmost respect, love and admiration for you all! I light a candle for all of you that have sacraficed soooooo much!

Its kinda how Christ Sacraficed for all of us, how He was willing to die for us, to make us not slaves to this cruel world. I am soooo thankful that I have been a chosen one and that I will be able to hang out with my loved ones that have gone on before me!

Because HE Lives!

Wendy

Almost there!

2008-05-26T13:49:00.000-07:00

So I finally have something to smile about in a way! I met up with Jason to go over the divorce papers and have him sign them as well! SOOOOO they have been signed and sent in which will be tuesday and in 90 days I will officially be a Culbertson again!
I am not happy that I am having to go through a divorce, but given the circumstances of EVERYTHING I felt that this was the only opption to become happier. I am saddend that I was betrayed and that I could never trust my husband but I am glad I found out then instead of another 10 years after!
We have decided to remain as friends but I am choosing to not be a part in his families lives. I just don't want to have to get caught up in their drama. I have no more reasons to take care of his family and get stressed out and put down and what ever pain and torture they piled on me!
10 years ago I never thought that I would be going thru all this...I thought life was suppose to be better once you are married and that you were richer financially when both spouses work. But my fairytale ended 3 years into our marriage!
I do want to express the gratitude I have for all those in the last year who have helped me financially, spiritually, and prayerfully! I am sooo blessed with you all in my life! I am a stronger woman because of the experience I have gone thru in the last 10 years! And being away and being the sole provider for my self and Gizzmo has made me feel confident in myself. I don't regret my past. I just wished it would have worked out better and that my eyes were open instead of being closed!
Anyways I am SOOOOO HAPPY!
Wendy

Randomizing my brain....

2008-05-05T10:39:00.000-07:00

I have a lot of thoughts going on in this almost 30 year old brain. I am trusting the Lord for the extra strength that I need! I have a lot of loose ends that I left in Washington that I need to mend and make right. Im trying hard to focus on the care of my dad, physically and spiritually! As I said earlier that my dad is very bitter and that he doesn't care of what happens to him! He tells me and Sandy that he doesn't deserve us as his children. How does a child respond to such a truth?? I hate that he has sooo much life and now it has been wasting away this past year so rapidly!

My Dad has always been the tough guy! He would try to fix what ever if it needed to be fixed. he taught me how to fish and to this day I LOVE to fish! I love that I share common intrests with him. He has lately gotten into putting model cars together and he is working on mine, a 1969 Dodge Charger (Dukes of Hazzard).

I have been here a whole week and I am miserable! I miss my new life I miss my sister I miss Chris and I REALLY miss my puppy(I will have him in a week) I feel like I am being selfish for feeling this way but I keep saying this but I felt soooo INDEPENDANT on my self being away from here that I LOVED the feeling of having no one but me and my puppy to fend for. Is that wrong??? I would do anything for my dad and every body knows that too.

But then there are times in the past week where I wonder if I need to be here! One day my dad is up and about and then one day he can't hardly walk! I feel that he just wants me here to just be here! And that frustrates me. I don't like the feeling of being used! I am glad to be here to see my loved ones but it feels like I am just on a short vacation and that I will be going back to Oregon soon! I am soooo torn!

I just barely get along with my mom and never get along when she is drunk! I just walk away and go to my room or now to the computer! OK so I have been writing this for a few days I should post it!

Love you all

wendy

Central Oregon Ink...

2008-05-01T11:05:00.000-07:00

I got a new tattoo yesterday! I love it! Since my dad has not been doing to well I thought I would do something to keep his memory and the rest of my family's memories. So eventually I am going to get all my family's favorite flowers in a vine accross my back! And for the kids in my life....and there is a alot, they are gonna be butterflies of their birth month birthstone.

So I will be home June 1st or at least thats the plan! I need prayer! My dad is super bitter and not doing to well. My mom says he has been ranting on her and she is stressed and I am not going to be able to handle that if he does that to me. But I know he doesn't have a mean bone towards me. I LOVE my Pappa A LOT and this pains me to see him this way! I have never seen him sooo helpless. I am gonna miss my home here in Oregon and the camping and fishing trips that have been planned but life with out my dad will be hard too!
Till next time
Wendy

This and that

2008-04-24T10:27:00.000-07:00

"Life is like a box of Chocolates...You never know what your gonna get"
~Forrest Gump~

I have to agree with ol Forrest! I am in the midst of moving my stuff out of my cousin's house and figuring out what I want to take with me to Washington and planning my birthday fishing mission and making sure I am doing the right thing! I know this will be a test and I have to admitt I hate taking tests. (maybe because i never really studied for them) But I am sure that God is throwing this at me to enable me to be a stronger woman and to witness to my parents. I will be bringing Gizzmo with me and man he is become my Best Bud! He hates it when I go to work that if not being restrained by Chris then he will chase after me in the truck! I have to admitt its partly my fault that he chases the truck only because at times Milo and Gizzmo go for runs runnig after the truck and boy they both are fast little boogers!!! It is the funniest thing to watch! Thats one of the great things living in the country! You live on a dirt road that is about a half mile and at the end is your mail box! And its just awesome having a panoramic view of the mountains in your front window!
I am getting anxious about living back at home! I always told myself I would never move back home to my parent's home. I have a hard time getting along with my mom! We have never been really close and if my dad does die what do I do...I know that I want to stay here in Central Oregon and I know my sister is moving to Texas this year. But I think this is part of the test I have to endure!
I will see you all at the end of may! Love you
Wendy

Goin back to Washington...more stress

2008-04-16T13:13:00.000-07:00

I was asked by my dad to come home and help him out while he dies...thats how he put it! WOW what a bold question to ask of a child. One of the reason's I moved to central Oregon was to get away from the element of my parents' drinking addictions! I don't know how to feel, I do feel, however, that after all these years of taking care of my mother in law I some how need to do the same for my parent! Especially my pappa! I for once in a decade did something for my self to become more healthier and happier and that was move away from the stressful life I was in and become independant and do things for Wendy....and now I feel really anxious and unsure about it all being up in washington!
I am thankful I will have a job and that I am able to go to church at my church! I am sooo thankful that I still have my friends and loved ones to count on when I need a shoulder! I will have my puppy to keep me busy too!
The reason I am coming home is that my dad has not been doing to well! He told me that he feels like he is dying every day and that some days he doesn't get out of bed. The other day he fell and couldn't get up by himself and his legs are soo swollen that it hurts to walk, sit or lay...
I do feel that this is an oppertunity to witness to my parents and be a servant and spend what ever time I can with my dad whether it be the best or not!
I still dont have a car and so Sandy and Justin will be bringing me back to washington! I am excited to see my new cousin who as of this minute has not made his appearance into this world...Hurry Tristan!
God Bless
Wendy

Im still here!

2008-04-07T13:09:00.000-07:00

So it looks as though I haven't written in over a month and thats due to a lot of changes goin on. I quit working for dominos and went to pizza hut. I wasn't getting very many hours and so i had to find work where there was hours. I also moved in at my neighbors parents house...LONG STORY! So my address has changed...AGAIN.
I have been dealing with a lot at home even though i am not at home in Washington. It sounds like my dad is not doing to well and because he is doing this to himself doctors won't touch him with a ten foot pole! He was completely sober for one whole week and started up drinking again. I am torn about being so far away but I have been much MUCH HAPPIER since I moved! I am sorry for not being there for my gramma! She has done so much for me and my sister thru out our lives!!
Today I realized that I will be turning 30 in less then 3 mos!! I first thought nah im not gonna worry about turning 30 and then it just hit me im gonna be 30 and my dad I hope will be turning 50! But then Im still in my 20's now! :)

AMAZING!!!

2008-01-27T22:45:00.000-08:00

Ok so I have slacked on my blogging!!! And please forgive me!!! Sometimes I feel like a drone for my job!! I almost feel like I should move all my stuff to work and just live there! Its really hard for me due to not having a car at this time to have a life. I am ALWAYS at work either working or waiting for a ride home. * I live 15 miles away* I chose the word AMAZING for my attribute of God because I am amazed how He allows things to work out for me. How He brought Chris in my life...my neighbor. It's nice to have a friend who is willing to help out when I need a ride or when I work all day someone to come and let my puppy out of his kennel and play with him. And just someone to just hang out with being out here in the country....Chris has an american bulldog name Milo. Milo and Gizzmo are great buddies! We take the boys for walks together and they are not short ones either! Sometimes as of lately we take them for midnight walks in the snow since it seems like it only snows at night! both of the dogs love the snow. Milo is 8 yrs old and he turns into a little puppy when he is out in the snow! Im Amazed that God has given me the strenth to stand up for my beliefs and to be able to witness to Chris. I am also amazed that I am becoming a stronger woman being on my own and having self control. I am also amazed that I am surviving all the snow we have been having!! I LOVE IT!!!
I need to ask for forgiveness for not communicating with everyone and that I am honestly not trying to forget everyone! I did get a new phone number and plan to give it out!
LOVE YOU ALL!!!
Wendy
PS Amy...gramma said you had to miss Church today...Im praying for you and Anna that you both will be healthy and safe!!
love you
me

Merry Christmas!!!

2007-12-25T09:22:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to take the time and send a Merry CHRISTmas hello to all my friends and family who read this! Sandy and I made it home for Christmas safely and are kinda bummed to find out that we left and it snowed at least 3 inches where we live!!! :) We had a wonderful time with our family last night.
I was just informed last Friday that not only did I sustain 1 broken rib but found out...after 2 months that I have 5 broken ribs from my accident! 4 of them are healing well and one is still healing displaced! Other than that I am doing fine and dandy!
I hope and pray you all have a blessed Christmas and a even better new year!! I am sorry for not sending out cards!!!
I love you all!
Wendy and Gizzmo :)

My Christmas tradition.....

2007-12-13T03:06:00.000-08:00

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Where the treetops glisten,
and children listen
To hear sleigh bells in the snow
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
With every Christmas card I write
May your days be merry and bright
And may all your Christmases be white
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
With every Christmas card I write
May your days be merry and bright
And may all your Christmases be white

Everyone I am sure has a Christmas tradition or two! I have a few but one of my non Biblical tradition's is to watch Irving Berlin's "White Christmas" Starring Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Rosemary Coloony and Vera Allen. As long as I can remember I have watched that movie on TV with my gramma and grampa Culbertson. I have the movie memorized, I know all the songs and could probably do the dance numbers too! My grampa Bob was a great closet entertainer! He loved to dance and sing! He taught me to jitterbug and waltz! He also help me find my love for singing by just hearing him sing the songs he grew up listening too and also all the AWESOME old skool hymns! Most people would have thought of Grampa not liking Christmas...But he loved it for the One reason! Our Savoir! But then him and gramma had two secondary reasons to love Christmas...me and Sandy! They would take us to go and by a pretty dress we would wear for our Church Christmas programs each year and then that would also conclude dinner at Sizzler! Grampa loved that place! Grampa would get steak and Gramma, Sandy and I would get the salad bar! One year Grampa sang "Oh Holy Night" for the Church Christmas program and I got a litte teary hearing him sing that song from his heart! Thru out grampas life he had many reasons to just give up and go along the worlds way of living but he always seemed to carry that pride know ing that he was a child of God even though grampa had a hard time dealing with the fact we have eternal security! The 100% garuntee that we would never loose our salvation if we truely meant that we wanted Christ in our lives/hearts. At the time I was born grampa and gramma were not going to church and grampa said that his grandchildren will be going to Church and Im thankful for the devotion they both had for keeping us head deep in the word and consistant in Church!
I have made some small and big mistakes in my life. But I know that the best thing I ever did was secure my life! I celebrate Christmas because that was the beginning of my new life!!!
Thank you Grampa and Gramma!!!
I love you both!
Pooh bear

WINTER FISHING...

2007-12-13T02:38:00.000-08:00

OOOOOO I can't wait for Saturday!!! I get to go Steelhead fishing! Im sure it will lets say oh REALLLLLLLLY cold, but catching my first Steelhead...PRICELESS and sooooo worth it! I love the fact that God gave us the knowledge to figure out how to fish and gather for ourselves! The fun part of it all though is fighting for your dinner :-)!!!! And then reaping in the rewards by eating it or if you are like me share the wealth!!!
I had another doctor appointment today reguarding my accident! My rib is still broken! It will be 2 months on December 20! So my doctor is going to send my X-rays to a radiologist to make sure the way that it is healing and the speed or lack of is not to be overly concerned over! I will know in a week!
Im looking forward to come home for the holidays! I know that it seems like I talk about my accident a lot and Im sorry! But that was a hard for me to deal with! I have never been in anything like it and am constantly THANKFUL that God protected me! And that life is precious and He gives and can take away and how fortunate I have the dear friends and family that helped and still are helping, close by! I am in debted to you all!
Work is ok! I worked my first 10 and a half hour shift yesterday since being back to full duty! I was doing good till hour 9 and my 5th and 6th wind was running out! One of our managers just up and quit...And so I took her opening shift and then other employees needed to be off earlier and so I said I would be the last to go home since I had to wait for my ride to get off work!
Gizzmo is getting big and is still a handful! I keep thinking...oh Lord what did I get my hands full with...Jack russel, wired hair schnouzer and mini pincer.....oh what a combo!!! Oh well I love him and he is loads of fun!
I have been killing my off time just hanging out at home watching football! I have missed the last 2 sundays watching football and going to church because of work! I hate to miss football but cant stand to miss a sunday of Church! But I am blessed to have my cousin to pray with and sit and talk about what we are doing for devotions or a verse that got to us! And it keeps me going thru the week!
My Church back in Washington started to post "THE REV'S" sermons on mp3 format on the Church website! And nothing compares to Pastor Franks sermons! Sorry Ryan! You do have an AWESOME mentor! but you are just as good! Im kinda bummed I won't be able to go to Church when I'm home!
My novel is finished for now! I LOVE YOU ALL!!!
"Jesus is the reason for the season"

I DONT WANT KIDS!!!! :)

2007-12-02T02:03:00.000-08:00

So I was not so smart and entered into a long commitment of being the mommy of a puppy!! Don't get me wrong I LOVE my dog...or should I say chewmister...or I kill toys faster than you can buy them mom or did this one squeak...I don't remember...or just puppy!!!! I giggle at all Gizzmo's antics! Like how he gets sooo jealous over me petting my cousin's cat when he comes to visit! It's like sibling rivalry!!! The other day I went next door for no more than 15 mins and I come back down to my place and my purse is strewn all over the floor!!! Oh I was sooooo mad! Then I saw that the reeses peices butter cup was in there!(Only a single from halloween) AND it was opened and gone!!! And then that freaked me out! I do all I can to make sure he is safe keeping everything up off the floor and only let him have his toys. I am trying to teach a smart headstrong dog (it's the breeds) to Obey me and then I thought "How do parents do it" How do they continue with the mundain way of life with teaching and instructing or disaplining and correcting their children??? I am sad at the lifestyle my parents have chosen in the recent years!! I'm sad that I was angry while my dad was in the hospital and could have possibly not come out! Im greatful that when I was living at home having to depend on mom and dad that my dad and mom did all they could to make sure we had a roof over our head if was our home in Sumner or living with grama and grampa Z in the 5th wheel on their property till we found a new place to live. I am hummbled that I was a fortunate child that had a family that loved me and still does when there are a lot of children out there that are not so lucky of fortunate. I am blessed to have my grandparents to show me God! And that I was spared a life of eternal death by coming to know our Savior!!! To eventaully one day to know what His will is for me! (I still don't know)
Now I would never get rid of my baby...I do love how he depends on me to remember to feed him or to take him outside, to make sure he gets the excersise he needs! I love that feeling of being needed. I could never take for granted my parents love for me. Thank you mom and dad! I love you both and pray that you both find God's will for your lives! And that you experience God's love too!
Pooh

PS I do eventually want kids...Lord willing...I love them tooo much to not want them!!

Christmas meaning!!

2007-12-01T00:29:00.001-08:00

I just got off the phine with my dad about an hour ago. We had a conversation about Christmas eve this year with my family and how he was thinking about buying or renting a Santa suit for all the little kids in the family. Young and old! My first picture with Santa! In that conversation he had mentioned that he was reading the Bible for the meaning of Christmas...I was sooo overwhelmed with joy but angry at the same time, only because my grampa Bob wasn't here to see this or hear him say that! He than said to make lighter side of the subject he said he hasn't gotten thru the geneology of it all yet! But I told him to write out his thoughts of the meaning of Christmas and that I would send him my version! And when I say my version he is gonna KNOW why we celebrate that BEAUTIFUL baby every year! I know my dad knows! I know that he knows he is a sinner and because that Baby was born as man He was to take the sin's of all mankind to save us from ETERNAL DEATH!!! I know my dad knows this I know he knows he is sinning and that God is out creator and our supplier when we need Him, He is our great physician, only God can heal us from all our pain, sorrow and grief! That He simply just loves us for who we are! I know my dad knows all this! Why we celebrate Christmas one day a year I will never know??? OK I kinda do, so that we don't go broke....2008 is the year to CELEBRATE!!!
Celebrate the Christ that was born to save us, let's celebrate the child that would grow to be a man of teaching and healing, the man that would go and show the LOVE of God. The God that would give up His son so that we may live forever! WOW What a year this will be!!! Each day this year I will earnastly blog one thing to celebrate for the year!! If I were to miss one I will never miss two and will catch up!!! 365 days of celebrating Christ!!!! Ce;ebrating God!!!!!

Compassion

2007-11-27T00:09:00.000-08:00

Tis the season to be jolly, to be happy to be loved!!! It's also a time to show compassion! I was reading thru Luke and came across a particular story that brought attention to me of simple compassion that Jesus bestowed on a widower. She was in a funeral procession for her one and only son!!! And Jesus came up to her and he felt compassion for her (Luke 7:13) And He told her not to cry! She just lost her son, her ONLY son and a man comes up to her and tells her to stop crying! That would just be hard for me to do a complete stranger to tell me to stop crying! I think I would have taken offense to that! But she doesn't retract Jesus' words! All Jesus did next was just touch the coffin and told the dead man to arise! Jesus showed that woman that He had compassion for her and that He loved her!
I feel that this is one way to see how God showed His compassion for us by giving up His one true love, His son! And then I think about all those that are close to me that don't know how compassionate our BEAUTIFUL our God really is! And how much I DON'T show them compassion by not sharing Gods compassion(how to use the same word 3 times in one sentance!!!)
Why should I be any different to be able to have this knowledge and hoard it all to my self??? I don't deserve it like everyone else does! This really convicted me with my walk! Going to Church is not ENOUGH!!! It's verbaly too! This is my life long resolution...new years resolution are so 5 mins ago...(thats for you Aim) ...It's to NOT keep God all to my self! I want to be able to know that I will see my loved ones and unknown ones in Heaven...My resolution is to keep the great commandment to Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature!!! My world right now reolves in Redmond, Oregon!
Luke 7:13~And when the Lord saw her He felt COMPASSION...

Yes...I did take pictures!!!

2007-11-22T00:20:00.000-08:00

Gizzmo's foot print!!

My Back yard looking east
My neighbor's driveway
The backyard looking south

Happy Thanksgiing!!!!
Luv Wendy

YEAH SNOW!!!!

2007-11-20T11:37:00.000-08:00

It snowed yesterday!!! I rarely get to see snow before Turkey day and yesterday was just a blast!! On top of everything else I had the day off too!...My neighbor and I took our dogs for a walk while it snowed and if you see the pictures in my last blog my dog isn't very big and will only be a little bigger than what he is now!
Well Milo the neighbor is an American Bulldog...He's a big boy and watching Gizzmo trying to play like a big dog was sooo funny!
Im doing good I have possibly my last doctors appointment regarding my accident tomorrow!! At least thats what the doctor said at my last visit! It depends on if my rib is healing. I haven't had any problems lately but sometimes im uncomfortable in the morning. I sure hope it is healed! Then I can work full time again and possibly get a second job for a little bit!!!
I have been going to a great church, the only thing is the pastor preaches for only a half hour!! But it is filled with God's word and thats what matters most!
May you all be blessed
Wendy

PICTURES!!!

2007-11-17T14:08:00.001-08:00

This is dedicated to my little man....He has been such a great comforter and love bug! He is the best cuddle buddy on cold nites while watching a movie! We are learning how to be obedient but as most of you know that with children they take a lot of patience!! I don't have kids but I do know what it's like to have one....kinda! Enjoy the pics!

ALCOHOL!!!!

2007-11-14T03:51:00.000-08:00

I am BOYCOTTING any form of Alcohol in my life!! No having a glass of wine with dinner, not gonna have a cold beer with a friend, Believe it or not I'm not gonna even COOK with it! Im mad, REALLY MAD!!! I just found out yesterday that my God mother is dying with cerosis(cant spell and spell check isn't working) of the liver!!!

After having to deal with my dad in the hospital with drinking related problems and my mom on her way down the same path, I now have another special person in my life that I get to see suffer because of the choices that they made!! Im mad because I just don't understand why? Why lie that you are sober and then keep drinking anyways?? I mean I really have no room to talk after having my own problem with addiction to smoking(I have quit). My dad for instance...He was told that he should never put another alcoholic beverage into his body as he is leaving the hospital this summer and then he goes and sees his regular doctor who tells him that ONE drink a week is ok not one or two a nite. And then my mom doesn't stop drinking nor slow down the intake of how much she drinks, in front of my dad. So naturally he is gonna want to have a drink too.

I know why God alows these things to happen it just hurts and there is nothing I can do!
IM just frustrated that it's happening to the people I love so dearly and now at the rate that my mom drinks she's heading down the same road! I am a state away and I think that has helped me to deal with the things that I can't control!
Even my own husband has had problems with his drinking too. I have't been around him in 6 months to see how he is and now it's not my concern anymore. I guess everyone has that free will to live the way they want to.

Prayer really works!!!

2007-11-04T09:20:00.000-08:00

Ok sooo Happy Belated Halloween! It was a good one for me! I had my arainment fro my accident(I got the ticket) and the Judge asked me how I plead and I got teary eyed and replied,"I guess guilty" I have never been before a judge and it frightened me a little. I didn't sleep at all the nite before and woke up sick to my stomach too. So by the time I saw the Judge I was ready to ralph!!! But thank God I didn't. I was 4th in line to speak with the dude and so he asked me if I have ever had any accidents in the last 5 years and I said "No" then he asked if I had any tickets in the last 5 years and I said "yes, 4 days before the accident." So I had to explain myself and so then he gave me 2 options! 1: pay the 225 dollar fine or 2: go to traffic Safety class.....UM....big decision here....Ill take traffic safety class!
I hope every one is well! I am feeling better but still don't have a car so it's a little frustrating. Not being able to go when I want to have to keep my puppy in a kennel when I am gone and sometimes it's all day. Yea my cousin lets him out when I am gone but I don't think other people should be caring for my animal. Oh well!
Ok short and sweet got to get ready for Church!
Wendy

One Month!!!!

2007-10-20T14:34:00.001-07:00

Well it has been one whole month since I was crashed into, and I feel that maybe I may have another set back!! I have been in some amount of pain in the back rib cage and so I let my Doc know so he sent me to see the X-Ray dudes and after my pics were taken it was plain as day that I had 2 breaks!!!!! I was only told at the hospital that I had a break on the 5th rib in the front!!! But also I have one in the back too!! I just hope that I don't get set back anymore because I am a little discouraged Im not gonna lie, but that means I will only be limited to certain duties at work and then because I can't do a lot my hours will get cut! But here I am grumbling of the things in this world that once again I CANNOT CONTROL!!! Yes, I am trying to deal with this subject.

I almost wanted to give up and come back home and go back to Jason, which I knew would be the wrong thing to do but he knew how to comfort and hold me! But Im still here! The picture is of me 3 days after my accident!! The lighting is great cuz you cant see my black eye! Oh yeah make up works too :) My friend told me that we had to go out for dinner and hang out and that I needed some much needed change of atmosphere! So we went to sing Karaoke....ok so I haven't been to a bar in a LOOOOOOOOONG time and I know now why! I can't stand drunk people!!! We both sang a song and went home! It was Horrific! Needles to say we went back to her house ate Rocky road ice cream and watched some movies!! I like that much better than the Karaoke :) Oh I forgot to mention that it snowed last nite or this morning! I woke up and saw white all over the ground it was soooo pretty...But an hour later it was gone! Gizzmo loved it though and I have no pics to show for it but it's spupose to snow again so pics will be taken!

Ill try to write sooner than later!
Wendy

Life as I know it....

2007-10-08T11:55:00.000-07:00

I have not been my happy self lately and I feel I need to get my thoughts out of my mind and onto "paper". Yesterday I probably cried half the day away. I was cancelled by my insurance company because I was delivering pizza's at the time of my accident and they don't cover transfering goods...so when I go to the grocery store am I not transfering goods. I feel really incomfortable all the time because of this broken rib. I now can feel(this is gross) the bones shift if I move a certain way....EEEEEEWWWWWW. I hate to go towork because all I think about on my way is that I could get tboned again pulling into work. I feel soo useless at work because I am only limited to 3 hours a shift and can only answer phones and make pizzas and fold boxes, you know lite duty can't slap out dough or get things from the walk in because they are over the weight limit I can carry I can't take the pizza's out of the oven because i cant lift my left arm very high cuz it hurts!! Yes this is what I call venting!!! I have been told by my former insurance company that the damage to the other vehical is over the amount of what was covered soo I will be probably buying a new BMW and on top of it all my two cats that I brought down here are now no where to be seen...possibly coyote food im guessing!!!!
So what have I learned??? HMMM God is still in control and I still need to praise Him for my trials. Even though it seems I can't handle it I make it thru another day. I am thankful that I was not fired from my job, I am thankful for the fact my sister is here and that her and Justin have been there for me. I am thankful that I have my cousins here to pray with me and give me encouragement. I am thankful for all my friends that have come thru and helped me with rides to work and doctor appointments! I am thankful im not in as much pain as I was a week ago. I can laugh a little before it starts to hurt :) I am most greatful that God allowed me to live!! What He wants me to learn I still don't know but one of these days I hope to figure it all out! There was a point last week that I wanted to pack everything up and come home but then I knew that I would fall back into Jason's comfort and delay the divorce process because that was one thing that I could count on with Jason was whenever I was hurt or not feeling well he was always there to hold me. Also because I need my church family. I have recieved many letters and cards and they are all soooooo encouraging to me and keeps me going knowing that I have a family back home that love me just as much as I love them! I know that thru this God is making me a stronger woman. Ok so I vented and redeemed myself...
Now for more serious stuff....I cannot belive the Seahawks got squashed yesterday and that the yankees are in the playoffs....EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW
Love ya all
wendy

Today

2007-09-26T20:02:00.000-07:00

So Monday I went and saw the Doctor and she prescribed me to see a physical therapist and so today I went. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. You hear stories how they work you till you are in pain other places besides the pain you are origionally feeling. For my visit today I got to have a TENS Unit then an Ultra sound and then a seated chair massage!! They both found that I have deep tissue inssues so on friday they are gonna work a little deeper...UGH!
Right now I feel sooo helpless I never am the person to let other people help me out I am always the person who is willing to help others out. And I think that God allowed this to happen so that I let people help me. Its sooo hard to let go of my pride!
Now at the same time I am going thru all this my mother in law Terri is going thru another run around with the problems with her feet. She had another toe amputated due to the infection her body doesn't want to get rid of. Because of this she may have to have one of her legs taken too. She had a surgery today to take out the screws in her foot where the infection is. So please pray for her and Jason's family. They are all going thru this in their own ways but its hard on them all as this has been going on for a year and a half now. I am not sure of her Salvation but I know the rest of the family except for Joe and Becky are not saved! And this is giving me grief because I am not there to help her out! As much as the other times always discouraged me I still felt the need to be there for her!! But then again I am here and she is there and all I can control is my prayer life and just be diligent in praying for her!
Because HE Lives!!!
Wendy

Speechless Pictures

2007-09-23T01:20:00.001-07:00

I am soooooo blessed I only sustained a broken rib, a severly bruised left arm, whiplash and cuts and bruises!!! Emotionally I am a wreck but with this past year I have learned to just give it all to God!!! I am THANKFUL that I was driving a SUV rather than the Toyota Carolla I had before I got this car because I don't think I would be here showing my heartache!!! Please keep me in your prayers for physical and emotional pain!! Love, hugs and prayers to you all~Because HE LIVES~Wendy

A Poem

2007-09-22T01:47:00.000-07:00

This Blog is dedicated to my late Great Gramma Grace Lawson. This woman was a beautiful Christian woman whom I have still the utmost respect for!! She was married to her husband for almost 70 years before Grampa Lawson went home to be with our Lord. Gramma had a gift of writing poems and stories and as I was Riffling thru my stuff I found a poem book that Gramma Grace made for my family. So I was reading it and came across a poem she had written aboout the Desert.

"The desert"

By Grace L. Lawson

One lone tree, stark against the sky.

The rolling hills, Sentinales, seeking out it's company

Sagebrush in profusion

lift theirfaces plain.

All wait expectantly for that

first drop of rain

Enjoy this as much as I did!!!

Wendy

God has reason's for EVERYTHING!!!

2007-09-20T23:36:00.000-07:00

So today I was on my way to make a delivery for work and I pulled out into traffic and was tboned. I must have miss judged the oncoming vehical cuz obviously I got hit. It totaled my car. They had to use the Jaws of Life to pry open my door. I was hit on the driver side. I got to take my first ride in an Ambulance but no bells and whistles though just a bumpy ride. The streets here in Redmond are not very well maintained. But after xrays and stuff I have a broken rib(my first broken bone), my left arm is all bruised up, a cut on my eyelid, bruise on my thigh, Road rash on my head (like a rug burn) and whiplash ! OH the joy!! The other driver was fine but his BMW was totalled too soooooo......I don't know what to do now but to leave it ALL to God!! He has His reasons for everything He even devoted a chapter in the bible in Ecclesiastes about there being a time for EVERYTHING!!! Just keep me in your prayers for a quick recovery!!
Love
wendy
pictures to come :0)

Majesty!!!

2007-09-20T10:35:00.000-07:00

Majesty

Majesty, worship his majesty

Unto Jesus be all glory, honor, and praise.

Majesty, kingdom authority,

Flow from his throne unto his own, his anthem raise.

So exalt, lift up on high the name of Jesus.

Magnify, come glorify Christ Jesus, the King.

Majesty, worship his majesty,

Jesus who died, now glorified, King of all kings!!!

Our God is sooooo Majestic...

Every thursday I am going to try to focus on a Attribute of God!!! What He is.

I am really into Music if haven't already noticed and I will try to add lyrics to my favorite hymns and or Christian Music that has somthing to do with God's Attirbutes!!! Enjoy!!

Wendy

(Thank you Aim for the idea...your wordless wednesdays)

Being reminded...

2007-09-18T20:50:00.000-07:00

I am constantly reminded how AWESOME my God is!!! Of how powerful He is and how perfect His strength is!!! I have been praying for a friend I work with and today we talked for 2 and a half hours while I was unpacking my stuff...I may add that I got a lot done today! Anyways while we were talking she was discussing how disobedient her boys are and how that every day they get a note sent home from their teachers and I don't have kids but I know from babysitting experience that kids don't like to sit and do nothing and she doesn't want to spank like she has in the past because One they are getting too big to hold down and 2 she feels terrible afterwards. So I mentioned that since they know how to write to have them sit at the dinner table and write 100 sentences for their disobedience and then take a privilege away for a period of time. She liked that so she is gonna try it out!! But then afterward is where the power of God steps in. She had been brought up going to Church and she stopped going and since she is a single mom of 3 kids(her daughter is a different story) but she keeps saying she wants one thing in her life that is stable. And she explained that she wanted to start going to Church again but she didn't want to go alone and I told her I would go with her if she wanted! So not this Sunday(she is taking her boys camping in a Teepee this weekend) we are gonna go to church together!!!

Now for the Strength part of God is just the mere fact that I just felt him carry me all day and that I just let him. He knew I was weak and I needed to just rest on him. I am reminded by a Song by Barlow Girl called "Never Alone"

I waited for you today, but you didnt show

I needed you today but where did you go

you told me to call said you'd be there

though I haven't seen you

Are you still there??

And I cried out with no reply

and I cannot feel you by my side

so I will hold tight to what I know

You are here and I am never alone

And though I cannot see You

and I cannot explain why

such a deep deep reassurance

You have placed in my life

we can't seperate

cuz You're a part of me

and though You're invisible

I will trust the useen

Monday...the day after

2007-09-17T22:20:00.000-07:00

POOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRR Seahawks!!! They were Robbed for sure!!! Oh well the first loss Im not that sad but lets hoe its not a snowball effect!!! I made it back to Oregon yesterday and it rained all the way here!!! YUCK!!! On top of that, I was awarded from Washington a "good driving certificate" YEAH I got a ticket...I was just cruzing along I-5 going 70 mph as I know it is at that particular spot and I guess I didn't see the sign that said it was 60 mph. because it was a construction zone but it wasn't the regular construction days and so my ticket was not doubled!!! How Im gonna come up with 113 dollars it's all in God's hands!! So my cats did pretty good they slept all the way here and Tigger meowed a little when my ears started to pop and so Im thinking that his were too. I started to unpack things and had to stop just because it was hard to go thru certian things. Especially the pictures!!! We looked sooo happy. I am having a hard time but I know I will get thru it all!!! I just have to remember that God has my life in total control!!! And that He knows what is best for me!!! Im tired
Love and hugs
wendy

Washington, Washington, Washington...

2007-09-14T22:56:00.000-07:00

What do I say at this point??? I realize how much stress I don't have back in Oregon! Don't get me wrong but I really don't miss it here. I have one more day of my garage sale in which I only made 2 whole dollars today...and then to Church and off I go with 2 cats and a dog intow!!! Which I don't recomend to even my worst enemy...if I had one. I just realized that I left A LOT of stress behind and I felt it while I was staying at my parents house this past week. My mom got drunk EVERY nite and my dad was still drinking, maybe not as much but enough for me to want to get mad at him which I did but didn't voice my opinion because I knew it would be in one ear and out the other. I know that in the back of his mind he doesn't care and that hurts but then again it's not my jpb to worry over things I cannot control. I had spent monday-wednesday going thru my storage unit with Jason and that was hard. He didn't make life easy cuz he was asking why I was taking so much stuff and I told him that I can use it and a lot of it was mine from childhood or family members plus he doesn't have a place to put it because he lives with his parents and if you have ever been to his parents you would know why...also because I didn't have all the time in the world I told him there are still a few things I know I have that he is gonna want and that when I get back to Oregon I would go thru everything more theroughly and then he was better.

Gizzmo has been such a good puppy that I am shocked that I was lucky to have a good dog!! He got to romp around with my parents dog "munchie" her real name is CE CE which my dad quickly changed after he got her from my gramma and grampa C. If I were to ever have a Pomeranian I would want an exact replica of Munchie...she is an awesome dog and a great cuddler too. But Gizzmo really was relentless to her all he wanted to do is drag her by her tail which was soooo cute because she let him!

So anyways I promised some pics the top one is of my cousin Ryan's daughter Kadence and Gizzmo and the one below is of me and Kadence and her brother A.J. We all got together for my Auntie Kims B-day on September 11 soooo much fun all 3 of my cousins were there and Ryans wife mad some oh my goodness YUMMY Chicken Enchiladas!!!! YEAH THEY WERE AWESOME!!!

That was the highlite of the time here pretty sad huh??? Wait I take that back I was also able to go out to lunch with Amy and Rylie(godmadeplaydough.blogspot.com) and I went to AWANA that nite to see all my close friends!!! That was awesome too but im tired don't forget I have a garage sale tomorrow soooooo you all know who you are!!!

LOVE HUGS AND TONS OF PRAYERS TO YOU ALL!!!!

wEnDy

I Can't sleep....

2007-09-09T00:34:00.000-07:00

Ok so its 12:34 am and I have to wake up in 5 hours...to drive for 6 hours!!!! Yeah, woooohooo yippeeeeee. My first road trip with Gizzmo, should be interesting!!!! S0 I am here to bable a little. I had to work today and my friend Fawn found me a "love" seat for my new place and so after work I literally shoved it in my truck and oooooppppssss it was hard to take out, maybe I should have taken the offer of Fawn's to have her dad bring it over in his truck. But my friend Jessica and I pulled it out and now it looks sooooo cute in in my house :)
Yes one day I will post some pictures....ok so now it's 2 mins till 1am and I must have A.D.D. or something. cuz it really took me 24 mins to type the previous segment. I must be having a blond day. Have I mentioned in my previous blogs that I really not wanting to go home??? i guess I have to endure 1 week thats it. I talked to my dad yesterday and he went to his Dr's appointment on thursday and his DR. was impressed by my dads progress and told him he could have a beer or a glass of wine but no hard alcohol. Which kinda upsets me but then again it's my dad's life not mine. I haven't talked to my mom since my dad was in the hospital. To make a long story short in which maybe later I will give out the whole story, but Sandy and I were trying to make plans to meet up with my mom and dad on our way from my aunt and uncles house and my mom hung up on my sister over a remark that my mom needs to quit drinking as well to be able to help my dad. So then we (sandy and I ) decided that it wasn't imprtant for us to see her or dad because she had everything in control that she was gonna continue to drink and "hide" it from dad...Sorry but she cant hide being drunk and so we said good bye to gramma and left...I felt bad because then my dad called when were almost in Oregon and he sounded sad and I felt sad because it wasn't his fault. When we called my mom her excuse was that she hadn't had her pot of coffee yet and that noon was a better time to meet up. We didn't want to be home late because we had already missed a week of work and we had to work the next day. So besides going thru my stuff with Jason, I also have to deal with my mom because when she comes home from work she hits the bottle. OH WELL!!!! I know that god will help me thru it all and I just have to trust that what I am is the right thing and that it's in God's will!!!
Love all you lots
Wendy

Psalms 119:105

2007-09-07T23:58:00.000-07:00

"Thy Word is a lamp unto my Feet

and a light unto my path"

This is my favorite verse in the Bible. I have been down in the dumps the last few days and every time I want to think of a verse for encouragement I dwell on this verse. Its amazing how god doesn't speak to us out loud but He ALWAYS gives us verses. The fact that He hears our thoughts just makes me break down sometimes. He makes me just sit bck and let Him take control of the things I can't control. This verse says it all that He is MY LIGHT and that I know that as long as I keep Him first in my life that this light He gives me will ever go out but once I loose focus I can't see, the light is off.

Wendy

Random thoughts....

2007-09-07T11:17:00.000-07:00

I was awaken to a wet tongue with a slight scent of puppy(hotdog) breath this morning....at 7am!!!!! UGHHHHH oh well somebody needed to go potty. It felt great to be wanted. I have been the last few days been really thinking about my trip home for the week. I have to go thru my storage unit with my soon to be ex-husband and it's taring me to pieces. I know that over all it is the ight thing to do to be divorced from Jason but its hard to fathom. And I know I seem to repeat myself at times but just to write(type) out my feelings and thoughts helps. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be married again or if I will be able to trust another man again or will I compare the other to Jason. Today is just ne of those days and I really don't want to go home on Sunday for these reasons...9 years of memories all in a storage unit getting ready to be someone elses memories(garage sale)
I am going to walmart today to develope some pictures(yes i still use film) ones I hope i can post on my site so you all can see!!! my friend Fawn has a digital camera and she said I could borrow it too soooo one day!!!!
When I get back from Washington I am gonna have a co-worker Matt help me with weight training. He use to live down the LBC(long beach, CA) and was a personal trainer for lots of people. He's gonna show mw how to get rid and tone my flab that I have since I have lost weight. I am 2 1/2 sizes down in pant size since last november and because I don't have a scale yet I am not sure how much I have actually lost. I will know when I see my Gramma Dollie.
But Matt and his family are really sweet people. Matt and I work together at Dominos. I am suppose to be managing closing shifts by the end of the summer but I have been delivering pizzas more so I can save my money for my trip to Washington. Ok so i need to go for now but I will write more when I get home tonite from work...
TTFN(tigger lingo: ta ta for now)
wendy

My New LOVE....

2007-09-06T21:46:00.000-07:00

So since I moved into my cousins apartment on their property I also decided that I need a puppy. So in due time I will be posting baby pics of him. His name is Gizzmo. He has been the bestest friend and companion in the last week. Last nite I was sitting on the floor and besides my chair I have a trash can and in it was a big black beetle so I picked it up and put it on the rug and let Gizzmo play!!! I did get some pics and will post them eventually. We are still trying to potty train and its so far going good couple of accidents but that comes with the territory of having a new baby....I know he doesn't like to be scolded or disaplined but who does. It seems like he gets his feelings hurt and so he puts his head down and looks cute and then I have to hold him. He will probably expect that when he is older too. I may have created a monster :) Forgive my spelling errors but he is part schnouzer, jack russel and mini doberman pincer. And just his personality alone shows all 3 breeds.
wendy